Self Improvement

I’m not sure why this always happens, but do you ever find yourself vowing to do better, to be better – only to be tested that very next day?

Perhaps it is the universe’s way of testing your resolve. Or maybe it’s your own premonitions that something will happen soon that will require extra strength.

Either way, it makes me slightly nervous when I make new promises to better myself.

Last night while laying in bed I was kicking myself once again (as I do periodically) for too much yelling, for knowing that my triggers are and not changing anything about them, letting the same situations play out and end poorly again and again. I was also silently berating myself for not doing more in the house, for collapsing on the couch at 8pm every night instead of spending one more hour cleaning or organizing some of the things I’ve let go too long.

Today started out pretty normal. Not that any day is normal, but nothing too out of the ordinary.

After lunch I was sorting through Jack and Ben’s sock bins, finding ones in the wrong place, rejoining them together and throwing out anything with holes (I lead such an exciting life, I know), I came out into the kitchen and smelled poop. I was surprised since both Aaron and Sam had already laid one on us this morning. But it wasn’t one of the twins.

There was Ben, both hands covered completely in brown, sitting at the kitchen counter playing on my iPad.

I’m pretty sure if I hadn’t made my new resolutions last night I would be screaming my head off, especially when I walked to the other side of the counter and saw it smeared all over the chairs and on the kitchen counter. But if that didn’t set me off, him violently shaking his hands and letting it fly everywhere certainly would have.

But not today. Today I was armed with new resolve.

Today I was not functioning “at my limit”.

Today I marched him into the bathroom calmly, stripped him down and put him in a hot shower. I told him it was okay, it was an accident.

While he was in there I wiped the counters, chairs and floor with lysol wipes before the twins got to it.

Then I went back and gave him a thorough wipe down. It was everywhere. Even inside each of his 10 fingertips.

While I was running around tending to Ben, the twins took the opportunity to grab the chalk and write all over the house, then make a mess in Jack and Ben’s room…

This huge mess took about 5 minutes to create.

This huge mess took about 5 minutes to create.

After the shower I got Ben out and let him know that we would sadly have to throw his really cool superhero underwear out. That it was covered in poop and could not be salvaged. He was more upset by this than any amount of screaming. He kept trying to come up with solutions to clean it. To this I complimented him on his problem solving skills then, giving him my saddest face, told him that any underwear he pooped in would be thrown out and if he ran out of supercool undies we would buy boring white ones, not the expensive superhero kind.

Later during the twins nap I noticed that Ben was on the bed pulling on the covers I normally fold the clothes on. On another day, I would have dumped the clothes there anyway then gotten into an argument over him accidentally kicking or messing up the folded clothes. Today I moved the laundry to the dresser, where there would be no chance of a confrontation. Laundry done. No yelling.

After school is always a screaming match to have Jack finish his homework. Sometimes it take over an hour for something he can do in a few minutes if he would just sit down and concentrate. Today I switched things up, no down time before homework or homework might run into dinner time. I sat him down right after school and because I didn’t feel pressed for time, I didn’t rush him.

Here’s how it went..

We started at 3:50

We started at 3:50

Well, at least he's still working.

Well, at least he’s still working.

This doesn't look good. We are only 2/3 done at this point and almost an hour in.

This doesn’t look good. We are only 2/3 done at this point and almost an hour in.

Gone.

Gone.

At this point it’s 1 hour and 30 minutes into me asking him and gently reminding him that he will have no dinner, dessert or books until it’s done…

Now sulking under the table while everyone eats.

Now sulking under the table while everyone eats.

Finally…

Done!

Done!

It took him just as long if not longer to get the homework done but the difference was I nagged A LOT less, didn’t yell and he got a lot more taken away instead. In the end he lost his iPad privileges for the evening. It was just as annoying for me and probably more annoying for him since he had to watch everyone eat dinner before he finally sat down and did it but I’m just going to keep it up for a good 2 weeks and hope to see that less yelling and screaming and more definitive rewards and punishments works. No wonder they say the first kid always gets screwed up! He’s a walking experiment on child rearing!

Overall it was a good day, and I was pleased that I tried some self improvement, even if it seems this is like this sort of exercise in bettering yourself is like cleaning your junk drawer. No matter how many times you clean it out, a few months later it is full of crap again.

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Fresh Picks (Jan 29)

This week, Red Beets, Sweet Potatoes, Yellow Onions, Lacinato Kale, Pinto Beans, Cilantro, Red Leaf Lettuce, and Fennel.DSC_0893

I immediately turned around and used two of the items for an adults only dinner for two that evening. It happened to be Adam and I’s 8th anniversary and having new and different veggies made for a great and adventurous new meal.

DSC_0897First I made a salad with the kale. I used a recipe from Marin Mama Cooks. It was called Lacinato Kale Salad. It was really good and now I think I’ll have to explore her blog more! My husband said it kind of tasted like a healthy caesar salad.

I paired the salad with Linguine with Sardines, Fennel, and Tomato. I didn’t have sardines so I used tuna. And I only had spaghetti, not linguine. Turned out perfect. I don’t usually cook with fennel because I’m not crazy about licorice flavor. But after fennel is cooked it mellows and sweetens quite a bit. I loved this and would definitely cook it again. Adam has already claimed the leftovers for his dinner tonight.

DSC_0898The next night I used up the red leaf lettuce as a side salad for the leftover pasta. I also used the beets. I roasted them along with the sweet potato for my sweet potato boats (more on that later) in the oven. Then let the beets cool, peeled them and diced them. I layered the red leaf lettuce, beets, grapefruit, sliced red onions and feta. I dressed with a vinaigrette of balsamic vinegar, honey, olive oil, dijon mustard, and minced garlic. It was wonderful!

DSC_0907For my newly roasted sweet potato, I topped it with some left over black beans and ripe avocado from the fridge. I sprinkled a little salt on top, because nothing is more yummy then a salted avocado. It was so filling and so delicious I was sad. Sad it took me 41 years to discover the combination. So easy, so nutritious and so tasty!

In fact, I can’t believe how many wonderful new dishes I’d gotten out of this delivery! And so pleased I didn’t have any failures this time around.

DSC_0902Pinto Beans were soaked over night and cooked on the stove then used in a big pot of chili for the superbowl. Also some of the onions got used in this recipe. Cliché, but I had to do it. It was easier than I thought to work with dried beans and as a bonus no possibly damaging tin cans. Made me think about changing my pantry a bit.

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Gong Hei Fa Choi!

Or Happy New Year to all my friends who are celebrating it now!

Tonight we celebrated with our friends the Carlssons. For once it was Ben who introduced us. Usually a parent’s friend group closely resembles the friend group of the first born, not second.

Asian Salmon, Fried Rice, Dumplings and Egg Rolls were for dinner.

Asian Salmon, Fried Rice, Dumplings and Egg Rolls for dinner.

They have 3 kids. Which means, like us, no matter what, they are always outnumbered.

And they have kids in the same age range. Which means we have all gotten to a point where we let them run wild in rooms we are not in and hope that nothing too terrible happens.

Luckily tonight there was a minimum of crying and fighting so the adults were actually free to enjoy adult conversation and beverages.

Is it Halloween or the New Year?

Is it Halloween or the New Year?

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Happy Anniversary

Adam and I are celebrating our 8th anniversary today.

We are not the highest honored on this day in my family, though. That honor belongs to my sister, whose 20 year anniversary is also today.

You see, when Adam and I were planning our wedding, it went a little something like this…

(After my first experience of seeing a couple take a trolley to their wedding), Adam, “When people get married in Chicago they take trolleys, not limos. When we get married we’ll take one too.”

Nikki, “Uhm, I’m not sure who you are planning on marrying but I’m not getting married in Chicago.”

Adam, “Oh? Where are you getting married?”

Nikki, “I don’t know, but it’s going to be a destination wedding.”

After that little life changing conversation, we began our quest and ended up settling on the West Coast of Florida. It was close enough to my family for me to feel like it was home, but not too close so it wasn’t considered a destination. And the beaches were beautiful.

Next we tried to narrow down a date. Obviously, winter in Florida, but when? We didn’t want to disrupt anyone’s New Year, Christmas or Valentine’s traditions.

Finally we realized that Chinese New Year would be a perfect time, since all my friends from Asia could use the extra time off to travel there.

We looked up Chinese New Year to find the best Sunday (Jews don’t marry on Saturday) and my eyes almost popped out of skull when I saw that date was also my sister’s wedding anniversary.

My beloved sister, who advice on all things important means the world to me, would share this most important date with me. What could be more meaningful or symbolic?

Later my Dad quipped it would be easier to remember the dates for him as well.

And so, in front of 200 or so people from 22 different countries and 18 different states, we wed at sunset on the beach. My good friend Jessica, a professional cantor, sung us into heavenly matrimony.wedding

For our 8th anniversary we checked out some new places that we probably wouldn’t have made the effort for on a normal date night. We started at The Aviary, famous chef Grant Achatz‘s “4 star restaurant approach” to cocktails.

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I had a whiskey that had been decanted with cigar smoke. It also had a hint of chocolate to it. Amazing. Adam got a beer!

Then we headed over to The Girl and The Goat, whose chef Stephanie Izard won the 4th season of Top Chef.

It was a lovely evening. I can’t believe how much we’ve accomplished in a short 8 years. Cheers to many more, Adam!

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Parental Rewards

The longer I’ve been signed up for this parenting gig, the more I realize just how hard you have to work to get the big rewards.

Don’t get me wrong. There are rewards. There are lots of small rewards every day. Like watching the twins run and jump on Adam when he gets home from work. Or today when Jack turned some music on and we had an impromptu dance party. Or the snuggles. Ah, the snuggles.

Some rewards come easy, but a lot of them take longer to orchestrate.

Today was one of those days with Ben. Ben has affectionately been labelled by a family member of mine as “the cutest little kid you ever wanted to strangle.”

He’s very strong-willed, and unfortunately this quality comes out at the worst times, not when he’s trying to achieve or learn on his own, but when it’s time to follow instructions or react normally in a group setting.

This afternoon Ben accidentally knocked over a lego bin. It was an accident, but at that moment I happen to reach my limit on lego clean up. I have spent day after day crawling around on my hands and knees picking up those pieces, only to find myself stepping painfully on more spilled pieces a few minutes later.

I asked him to clean it up before we went to the supermarket. Instead he ignored me like he normally does. After threatening to take away the donut I promised him at the supermarket he made a half hearted attempt, picking up two of what was probably 100 pieces on the floor. When he was younger I would let it go, but he’s 4 and 1/2 now. He can pick up legos!

In the end he lost his donut, and his dessert too if he didn’t clean them up when we got back.

He kicked and screamed and threw off his shoes in protest and we had to yank him out of the car to go grocery shopping but he took his punishment. We didn’t give in. We didn’t hide or flaunt the other donut eating kids in front of him either.

After the store we reminded him a few times to clean up. He did what he normally does when we ask things of him, completely ignore us and instead does exactly what he feels like doing. Adam wanted to keep nagging him but I told him we had already made our point and to stop driving it home. He is also old enough to remember simple instructions!

He ate a good dinner and asked if he could get his dessert back.  It’s so hard to stick to your guns with your kids. You want them to like you so badly! And you want to make them happy all the time and not experience any hardships in life. I could have just given in and made him happy. And some days I do that. But today I saw the bigger picture.

I answered, “Yes, as soon as you clean up.”

In the end he finally went back and did a very good job cleaning up, counting the legos as he went (Adam’s idea.)

Afterwards he was so proud of himself! He ran around wanted to show everyone his newly cleaned floor. He felt a sense of accomplishment and pride in himself, an opportunity I would have denied him by giving him back dessert for a dinner eaten well.

And Adam and I had a long, hard won parental reward.

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Fresh Picks (Jan 15)

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This week carrots, parsnips, cucumber, cabbage, fingerling potatoes, onion, and parsley.

DSC_0867Carrots, parsnip, cabbage and some of the parsley were used for a hearty winter vegetable soup. I also added butternut squash, leeks, celery, tinned tomatoes, cauliflower and some seasonings. I like to make a big pot of healthy vegetable soup in the fridge in the winter. I can eat it every day, it’s super healthy and filling and keeps me from grabbing something that is easy and quick to make but not as nutritious.

Cucumbers went into home made sushi rolls.

DSC_0864I meant to put the potatoes in the soup but forgot so I made them into a side dish, diced and roasted with garlic and rosemary. When I cut them open they were a gorgeous speckled purple. They tasted the same as regular potatoes, though.

Along with the potatoes I used the rest of the parsley turkey burgers which were grilled up on a snow covered grill one night.

Onions always get used up as a base to many dishes but I think I used these two for a sloppy joe night and a gorgeous, spicy chana masala.

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How to Make Sushi

One of Jack’s favorite meals is sushi.

It’s great to introduce expensive food to your kids when you have one. You are so proud of their diverse tastes that spending $8 dollars to watch them basically crush a california roll and sprinkle it onto the floor at a Japanese restaurant seems worth it.

But when you have four kids, it stops looking like money well spent for the sake of an exposed palate and starts looking like you are throwing money down the drain.

Still, I want my kids to be adventurous eaters, especially in my favorite area of foray – asian food.

So lately I’ve been making sushi at home. It’s actually pretty easy. I’m going to show you how right now…

Tonight I made California rolls. For those, you will need:

1. Rice. Brown or White. I use sushi rice but if you can’t find it Arborio rice works great too. I used that tonight.

2. Rice wine vinegar.

3. Sesame seed. The black ones look really great mixed with the yellow ones, but I could only find yellow so I used that. You could skip these all together if you wanted to.

4. Avocado.

5. Cucumber.

6. Crab Sticks. I just buy the imitation ones from the supermarket.

7. Nori. This is the seaweed paper.

8. Bamboo roller and plastic wrap.

Cook the rice according to the instructions. I have a rice cooker because I’m a good Chinese daughter. In my world it’s right up there on the level of toaster oven and microwave. Definitely not an optional appliance.

When the rice is done put a couple of sprinkles of rice wine vinegar. I made rice out of 2 cups of uncooked stuff, and added about 1/4 cup of rice wine vinegar.

Then, since everyone seems to be rolling the sushi inside out (with the rice on the outside), I cut the nori in half and put it, shiny side down, on a bamboo roller that was wrapped in plastic wrap.

Next put enough rice on the nori to cover the whole thing.

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Then wet your fingers with water and spread rice out evenly on the nori.

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Please do not get grossed out by my black finger nail. I slammed it in the bathroom door on one of my more “over tired mom days” a few weeks ago. Twice. It’s slowly turning completely black and half of it has come off already. I heard it may never grow back. Which makes me glad I’m already married off because I’m sure ten fingers and nine nails would be a deal breaker for some.

Next sprinkle with sesame seeds.

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Now flip it over. Fill the other side with avocado slices, crabmeat, and cucumber. (I peeled the cucumber, deseeded it, sliced it into long strips.)

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You can see my nori ripped. It doesn’t matter, it did not effect the rolls at all.

Next use the bamboo roller to roll it all together.

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DSC_0852Finally, using a sharp knife, cut the roll into bite size pieces.

DSC_0856There are a lot of ends, uneven bits of sushi wrap that still taste delicious. Sometimes I can make a whole meal out of them! The rice made about 8 logs. It was enough for dinner for everyone (it was served with some other things) and some leftovers for Jack’s lunchbox tomorrow.

I know it was a good meal because when I snapped this photo there was absolute silence at the table…

California rolls, Edamame, and Pot Stickers.

California rolls, Edamame, and Pot Stickers.

I probably should make a comment about Jack dressed at the Ultimate Spiderman, Ben the Hulk and Aaron’s favorite way to wear his shirt, with one arm in and one arm out. Let’s just say I’m just happy they are all actually wearing some sort of clothing for this picture. And that no one is crying or complaining about the menu for once.

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Crepes by Olivier

Tradition is a wonderful thing.

Once you start having traditions with a person, it is a sure sign you are truly good friends.

One of the traditions that has stuck over the last few years is the just after new year “Crepes by Olivier.”

DSC_0836Normally held at the Cameron house, the Pasquiers dazzle us gorgeous home made crepes.

We all pitch in with different dishes and the kids run around doing who knows what downstairs. It’s a play date for both adults AND kids!

It’s a wonderful tradition that I hope last for many, many years to come.

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Explore and Much More, Again

Everything old is new again!

Today I registered my other two kids at Explore and Much More. It’s always been one of my favorite pay-to-play spaces in the city. And even though it has two floors, it is still manageable to watch three kids here.IMG_5706

In fact, it’s more like three floors with the loft upstairs. The ingenious loft creates many more play spaces for the kids and keeps it a lot more interesting.

Upstairs in the loft they have legos, gears, and foam blocks.

Upstairs in the loft they have legos, gears, and foam blocks.

Under the loft, a kitchen area.

Under the loft, a kitchen area.

I’ve decided to revisit some of the old indoor playgrounds I used to haunt, only to find most of them have shut down. I guess it’s hard to make a buck in this sort of business.

Today the space was not crowded at all. I was pleased, but also worried. I don’t want it to close like all the other spaces I used to frequent!

On Wednesdays they have a singer at 10:30.

With the singer, Sharon.

With the singer, Sharon.

Again Ben surprised me by being the only kids who remembered the singer’s name and sitting nicely and participating on his own will. The twins participated too, but I think their 4:45am wake up time made them a bit glassy eyed by the time we got to singing.

Afterwards we went to Lulu Belle’s Pancake House for lunch. They are now owned by the same person. Any day of the week you eat there and go to Explore and Much More, you get a 15% discount. AND if you go on Tuesdays, kids eat free (one kid meal per one adult meal.)

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Fresh Picks (Dec 30)

My New Year’s goody bag included Red Cabbage, Celeriac, Sunchokes, Sweet Potato, Red Onions, Carrots and Watercress.DSC_0602

The red cabbage was used for Za’atar Spice Roasted Red Cabbage Steaks.DSC_0819

I really enjoyed this dish, a great find and something I would do again!

The sunchokes made another side dish. Sliced thin and roasted in the oven with simply olive oil, salt and pepper. They were okay, but since they looked like potatoes but didn’t taste as creamy or starchy that was kind of hard to get my head around.

I added the celeriac and carrots to a minestrone that I ate all week. Paired with some crusty bread is a meal I never tire of.DSC_0658

Sweet Potato always gets eaten in our house. This time we decided to have another thanksgiving night, sometimes one thanksgiving turkey dinner is not enough! Why should we only spoil ourselves with marshmallow topped sweet potatoes once a year?

Red onions were used in an egg salad and also in a “everything left in your crisper” salad along with the Watercress.DSC_0662

People always ask what salad dressing I use when they try my salads. Here is my secret: dijon mustard, any vinegar, and olive oil. So simple! This salad I used a special bottle of olive oil my friend Hedy brought me. Yum!

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