Seems like I’ve been writing about sleep training way too much this year. Once I get sleep sorted out, something changes and I’m back to the beginning.

How can something so cute cause so much turmoil?

Florida was not great for sleep.

At first I thought the twins were not sleeping well because they didn’t like the pack and plays. In hindsight I’m thinking it was Sam’s ear infection that was keeping him up all night.

Unfortunately in order to keep Sam quiet so he wouldn’t wake everyone else up in our hotel room, I stuck a boob in him at each waking. After two weeks of this, I created a problem. Now even though his ear is better, he is still waking 4 or 5 times a night. Time for more sleep training.

I asked Adam to move Sam’s crib to the extra room in the basement. I didn’t want him waking the other kids.

The first night I had trouble falling asleep. Normally when sleep training a lay awake torturing myself with doubt. I like to know exactly how long the crying went on. But if I don’t plan to go in and feed, why stay up and listen?

That night Sam cried at 11:30pm. I could still hear him but it was faint. Which just proves that no matter how tired, my mother’s ear never rests. At 1:30am I woke up second guessing myself. I went downstairs and laid on the couch until he cried again. It was 3:30am. I fed him. It was a mistake. By 5:30 he was crying again. I fed him once more, even though I knew he was not hungry. We lay in a tangle on the couch until Aaron woke at 7am. Ah, there is nothing like cuddling your sleeping kids. It probably doesn’t help sleep train, but it’s sooo nice.

When the older boys leave for school, it’s time to wreck their toys.

The next night I resolved to wait until at least 5am. This time Sam cried for a while, then Aaron cried upstairs then as soon as that was over I heard Sam again. I was up listening to them alternate crying and second guessing myself for over 2 hours. I understand the reasoning behind the theory, but was it sound? I wondered if the popular method of ‘crying it out’ isn’t going to look like a really bad idea from the next generation. Like how beating your kids used to be generally acceptable a few generations ago but now seems so obviously wrong. At 5am I was back feeding Sam and sleeping on the couch next to him. A little better, but not perfect.

The third night I only heard Sam once at 12am for a brief shout out. Aaron down the hall cried twice for longer periods, once at 11:30 and again at 3:30. I was convinced my good little sleeper must have a problem so I went in. He was fine. Perhaps he was hungry. Or just wanted some soothing. Either way I fed him and at 3:30am he slept until almost 8am. I went downstairs after I fed Aaron and fell asleep on the bed in the basement next to Sam. He woke up at 4:30am and I fed him. He woke again at 5:30am and I fed him again, this time snuggling in. He slept until he heard the older boys in the basement around 6:45am.

This morning I asked Adam to move his crib back upstairs. I hope he’ll sleep better now. I know I’ll feel better having him closer, even if I don’t get better sleep because of it.

Super Baby Sam continues to perform miracles of growth.

Here he is at eight months old, climbing the stairs!

Climbing with Patricia

In the airport back from Florida Ben decides clothing is optional.

Ben is at the age where some really crazy stuff comes out of his mouth. He is one super articulate little dude, so lately we’ve been getting a lot of “Ben-isms”.

In fact I’ve come to the realization that hanging out with him is not that dissimilar to being around a little mini alcoholic all day long. His drink of choice being juice. He doesn’t slur, but instead adds a ‘W’ to all his words. Girls become Gwirls. Chocolate becomes Chwoclate. Much like someone who has had too much to drink, he doesn’t make sense sometimes. When he’s tired it’s like he’s had too much and he’s belligerent. But when he’s happy he is the perfect drunk, hilarious and super fun to be around.

—-

Ben, “Where to you work, Mom?”

Me, “I don’t work Ben.”

Ben, “You work at home, Mom.”

Me, “Yes, I guess you could look at it that way.”

Ben, “You work on the computer,Mom.”

Jack, “You buy stuff on the computer for work.”

—-

Ben, pointing to his solar planet book, “What planet is this?”

Me, “Uranus”

Ben, “Uranus?”

Adam, behind me, “Uranus. Bah ha ha ha.”

Ben, “What else does it say?”

Me, “It says Uranus emits green and blue gasses.”

Ben, “Mommy, why are you laughing? And crying?”

—

Recently, in Florida…

Me, “We are going to a different supermarket. It’s not Dominicks, it’s Publix.”

Ben, “No, no! It’s not Publix, it’s the re-publix, for which it stands.”

1. If you are breast feeding and not bringing the babies, bring your breast pump. It takes so long to get to the park, and once you are there you will not want to leave. I made the mistake of thinking I would just pop back to the hotel and pump. Instead I found myself sucking only own breast and squeezing it dry over a toilet. I’m not sure which was worse, doing that or, later in the day, standing in the family bathroom traumatizing our kids as they watched Adam help relieve myself with his mouth. “Gross! Adam is drinking the baby’s milk!” and “Papa is a baby.” were some of the comments from the kids.

2. You make a better blocker than a follower. When the park got really busy, I tended to walk behind Adam and the stroller while he slugged through the throngs of people. But I figured out if I walked first, or to the side depending on where the traffic was coming from, it opened up a small space that made it easier for Adam to open wider and maneuver into.

3. Fast passes. Use them. I think a lot of people are confused about them. They are free. Once you get one, the fast pass you receive will tell you when you can get another one. So, instead of waiting for 90 minutes for the Peter Pan ride, you can go do a less busy ride or get something to eat. You come back at the designated time and barely wait at all. This made the park a lot more enjoyable. Often I would go pick up a fast pass while the kids and Adam were waiting for another ride.

4, Three days is enough for the Magic Kingdom. We were able to see everything and do all the kids favorites rides again a few times as well. We got the park hopper and spent a morning at Hollywood Studios and still covered everything.

5. Character meals. I thought this would be a waste of time. I thought Jack is shy he might not like it. It’s so expensive I didn’t want to risk it. But Adam reasoned that we were paying half the price of a character lunch for crap fast food in the park so a nice buffet and characters was worth it. And it was! I knew Ben would love it, but even Jack as up dancing and hugging the characters. When he got back to the hotel the first thing he did was show Angelica the pictures of the lunch. It was one of the times when Adam and I realized that Jack is still just a kid. Because he’s our oldest kid sometimes we forget.

6. Bring or rent a stroller. I think we walked 10 miles each day in that park. We only brought one stroller and by the afternoon both boys were fighting over it. Adam ended up carrying one or the other quite a bit.

I have so much to write about, so many things I want to say about Disney. How happy it made the kids, what an incredible experience it was, how we learned so much more about who Jack is. (Ben shows his emotions, wants and needs more openly than Jack).

Adam and I felt like we were on the other side of an acid trip afterwards.

I’ll get a “Disney dos and don’ts” blog out soon.

But for now I wanted to say it is with great joy and guilt that we finally figured out why Sam has keen keeping us up all night. And was cranky all day. I feel bad we didn’t get him checked earlier, but I’m pleased we didn’t take him on an airplane in this state. He has an ear infection.

Last night my mom babysit while Adam and went out on our last date night for the vacation. We wanted to have a drink and sit outside, soaking up the warmth.

When we returned mom said Sam woke around 11. She fed him 4 ounces but he still cried for 20 minutes until he finally went to bed. By 1:30 he was crying again. I tried breast feeding but he refused.  At 2am I was holding him in bed. He was still crying. Adam reached over and noticed he felt hot. Throughout this whole trip Adam has commented on Sam not acting like himself. He even had me get my friend Jessica’s pediatrician’s number so we could take him in. I thought he was just tired. And becoming more assertive with his wants. After feeling his temperature, Adam decided to take Sam to the emergency room.l

They returned shortly before 6am with medicine. Just in time for Ben to wake up for the morning!

Adam was exhausted, so I strapped one baby to me and held the other one on the side and ushered the other two boys to breakfast. Could I handle 4 kids at breakfast alone?

I was not the only one who had doubts. A grandmother with two sets of twins in her family hovered over us, scared to leave me alone.

I’m pleased to say they are all back in the hotel room now. Accounted for and tummies full.

I’m even more pleased that I have a husband who has the good sense to knows when the kids aren’t right and how to fix it. I feel terrible that I didn’t listen to him when he suggested we take Sam to the pediatrician’s last week. Poor little guy suffered longer than he should have.

It was all worth it. The long drive, the long lines, the crowds, eating like crap, walking like 10 miles, standing all day, carrying heavy kids around. All worth it just to see the looks on their faces.

The twins have reached an age where they have two distinct naps. They nap best in a crib. Good naps ensure happy babies, happy babies ensure a good vacation.  So twice a day we’ve been holed up in the hotel while they nap.

Sometimes Adam works or goes for a run. Sometimes I run an errand or sleep. Sometimes one of us takes the older boys out to a park. The naps keep all the outings short. I was worried this might be a bad thing, being so limited and scheduled. But in fact having so much forced down time has been a blessing.

One thing I realized it that it’s not about being somewhere fancy. It’s about time spent with your family. Hanging out connecting. Having enough time together so those random memories can occur. The ones where you share a learning experience with your child. Or see them master a new skill with pride. Or have a moment where you find yourself rolling on the floor with laughter.

Many afternoons, after the twins second nap, we find ourselves at my father’s house for a swim. We leave the twins at his house and Adam and I take the older boys to the pool. Between naps and meals we have less than an hour to pal around but each we time we go it leaves us all giddy. Essentially it’s like bathing in a large, chlorinated tub. We hardly bring any toys, yet we never get bored. There is a lot you can do with a big tub of water! Again it made me realize sometimes it’s the simple things in life that make it great.

Auntie Doris feeds the twins so the other Calisoffs can enjoy dinner with my father.

I’ve been having so much fun in Florida I fear I’ve been glossing over the messy stuff.

Like right after Dim Sum when Ben yelled he needed to potty. I got off that highway as fast as possible, leaving two sleeping babies and Jack in the car with my sister. But I wasn’t fast enough. When I pulled down his underwear, it was full of poop. No wipes, no change of clothes. I scrubbed his underwear in the sink while he sat on the toilet rubbing the remains into the seat. He had to go commando after that. He didn’t mind. In fact, I think he enjoyed it so much that he made a full frontal appearance at my father’s party later that evening.

Or the time that a freshly bathed Sam found my father’s wine rack and broke a perfectly good bottle of Marques de Caceres. He was drenched in wine and about to put the broken bottle top in his mouth before we got to him. We left Dad’s that night with a floor full of glass and a table full of dirty dishes. Some house guests we are!

The other day I wasn’t sure what was worse, changing Aaron’s four consecutive poopy diaper or then going to change Sam and finding one huge one that exploded out of the diaper, down the leg to the sock, and all over his  back and every other piece of clothing he had on.

While out eating crepes one lunch, Ben choked and threw up his entire lunch. I managed to catch it all on the plate. We all continued on as normal.

Neither twin has adapted easily to the smaller pack and play. It has made for many more wake ups very night.

It’s not that these incidents are not important, but since they happen so often it’s not as traumatic as it used to be. It has almost become normal. I’m pleased that I have gotten to a point in parenthood where I can laugh when these things occur instead of letting them upset me. Its a nice line to cross over. I will admit it was a but unnerving that I was able to catch all of Ben’s puke on a plate one handed without blinking an eye. We didn’t even talk about it after. Perhaps a line too far, that one.

Romper Room at Jess’

One on my favorite things about visiting Florida is getting to see the Ferraris. I have been friends with Jessica since my freshman year high school. We have many memories together, but none is more dear to me than when she married Adam and I in a beautiful, musical, joyful ceremony on the beach at sunset.

Me & Jess

Miraculously we have managed to have kids around the same time. Her oldest is Ben’s age. Her youngest is only 4 months older than the twins. Visiting her house is like an oasis in the dessert of tshatshkes that fill both my parents houses.

Jessica’s parents, Byron and Ann Turnoff with Sadie and Eliana

It’s hilarious to watch the older kids interact. They sat at the kids table, telling butt jokes. Sadie made googlie eyes at Jack. Ben made googlie eyes at Sadie. It was a little love triangle that I fear will repeat itself many times over the next 15 years.

Collaborative Lego building.

It’s adults only tonight for New Year’s at the Ferraris. After the babies woke us up all night last night, I hope Adam and I can make it to midnight!

Friday night Dad had family over to his house for a bit of a reunion. Irwin, Dawn, Shea, the Wightmans, Auntie Doris, Uncle David and Carol, Julian and Alex, Dad’s long time friend Jeffery Small, Dad’s wife’s daughter Tamara and her four kids, and an interesting couple who live across the street from Dad. The wife was a TV producer and the husband a ship captain.

We were late. It seems like if you try to respect both of the twins naps like we did Friday, it doesn’t leave much time to be outside the hotel. We also shamelessly brought loads of laundry by. It was easy to do during the party, though. With so many people playing with all our kids, I could easily launder up and hold a glass of wine as well.

Jeffery has 6 grand kids and is a natural with the twins.

Lovely as it is to see family, I couldn’t help but walk away feeling so lucky for the life I have. Job loss, impending spousal death, and money problems were some of the things people were having to deal with. At one point, while talking to someone about how much laundry we have, we were asked if we had a laundry machine in our house. In our little circle of friends laundry machines is a given!

It wasn’t all bad news, there was also college acceptance, new jobs, and new family members. And there was always the warm fuzzies I get when I see family.

Every day Ben sings the Hanukkah blessing. He has made the connect between the blessing on the candles and new toys. Since we’ve been here, our boys have been spoiled with toys, candy and money. I think Ben is confused and believes it’s still Hanukkah!

Whoopsie Cushions are fun for all ages!

Uncle David was a delight for our kids. All the Devenskys are good with our kids at any age, but Uncle David always stands out as a star when we see him. He got Jack wonderful, old school presents that any naughty 5 year old would receive with glee. A whoopie cushion and surprise snake in a can of peanuts kept Jack occupied for ages. He even had the twins giggling together over a bouncy ball.