My right ankle has been swollen and feels like I’m stepping on a bruise for about a week and a half.

It happened right after I upped the exercise last Wednesday. I decided to run to the gym, about 30 minutes, then do some HIIT (High Intensity Interval Training), then some weights, then lunch with Adam, then run back home. My ankles felt sore, but I didn’t think much about it. These new Vibram Five Finger shoes often stretch my muscles in new ways. I assumed it was just that.

But I tried running again when my Mom got in on Friday and I was in pain. Especially when I started HIIT. But I still thought it would go away. Must have bruised my foot, I thought.

But it’s still here a week later. Still swollen, still limping.

Adam grilled me on my injury. “Is it a sharp pain or a dull pain?”

“I don’t know, what is the difference?”

This was followed by a lengthy discourse about the difference between sharp and dull pains. Finally I picked dull.

He proceeded to pepper me with questions until he finally fell silent. After what I thought was him exercising his brain, he turned to me and said, “I don’t know. I’m not a doctor.”

Neither am I, but nowadays everything is on the web, right?

I did some research. Most likely not a bruise, but a stress fracture.

You know what they do with that? They put you in a boot.

The universe has a really good sense of humor.

It seems like every time I start a sentence with “I never…” as in “I’ll never be the kind of mother that screams at their kids in public” or “I’ll never let my babies cry themselves to sleep” it comes back and bites me in the butt. Like someone or something is out there listening to me make judgements on other people and secretly planning retribution.

So perhaps I shouldn’t have been so superior when it comes to my sister’s house keeping skills. Whenever my mother visits her, she cleans out her entire kitchen.

“Three jars of peanut butter were open AT THE SAME. Can you believe it?” My mother would call and tell me later.

My kitchen would never be that disorganized, I thought. So there is no way my mother will be rummaging through my kitchen cabinets rearranging it to her liking.

Which is true. Mom always said I keep an organized kitchen. Unfortunately, my clean kitchen is exactly how I found myself across the kitchen table from this this afternoon…

Having your mother reorganize your underwear and socks is much, much worse than her organizing your kitchen.

“Do you wear these, Nikki?” She asks while holding up a black thong.

She was so proud of herself that she suggested she organize Adam’s underwear drawer tomorrow…

So, it’s been a week. Are you wondering if I’ve kept my word to stop screaming?

Well, I haven’t been perfect. But I been surprisingly good. Giving up yelling actually didn’t feel like I was giving up anything at all. It felt like freedom.

I feel like I’ve woken up and taken a valium every morning. Without the possibility of screaming, my blood no longer rises. Confrontations no longer escalate until my heart is beating in my chest and my face is red.

Instead I have to get creative in order to get my point across.

Sometimes, I am good. One morning instead of screaming at Jack to get dressed for the zillionth time, I sat down with him and tried to figure out what the stop up was. Turns out he couldn’t decided what to wear. So we did a little process of elimination and he happily got dressed shortly after that. I felt very happy I dodged what could have been a tense moment.

Sometimes, I am bad. If you can’t yell, you find other forms of punishment. And in the absence of yelling, those other forms of punishment happen more often. Seeing how great it is to stop yelling, I wish I could eradicate the other forms of punishment too. Unfortunately, I don’t think it’s possible to get rid of all the uncomfortable and dreadful moments of raising kids.

Recently my facebook acquaintance, Kate, posted an article from the Huffington Post called 10 Things I Learned When I stopped Yelling, by The Orange Rhino.

I expected to read it then very smugly turn my nose up at this woman, who probably has NO IDEA what my life is like.

But it caught my attention because I soon found out she is also a mom blogger, and she also has 4 kids under 6 years old.

Anyone who knows me knows I’m a screamer. If nothing else works, I just say it louder and louder until I’m hoarse. I don’t find it to be a particularly effective method. Still, it has become my default method never the less.

When we had less kids, Adam used to complain about my yelling. He grew up in a house full of yelling and it was very upsetting for him. Then, when we had more kids and he started to take on more responsibility for the older ones, he started yelling as much as I did. And I realized, seeing it from the other side, that it is ugly. And doesn’t work, it doesn’t make the kids behave the way you want them to.

Perhaps I needed to change my mind set, not theirs. Perhaps it’s not about making them do what you want, but working with them and their limitations to achieve something together.

I’d love to eradicate the yelling. Now that the twins are older, I’m less in constant emergency mode. I’m starting to work out again. I’m starting to sleep longer stretches at night. I’m starting to think about what kind of impact I want to have on these kids. How I want them to remember their childhood. And remembering a tense, screaming crazy mom ain’t it.

She did it for 365 days, can I?

Has anyone seen these new carts at your local L stop?

I was so pleased to see one pop up under our own L stop. It’s such a cool concept, I can’t wait to tell you all about it.

These carts are a project by Neighborhood Capital, whose objective is to “create jobs for the unemployed and under-employed, as well as promote wellness in all Chicago communities.”

Such a worthwhile mission! They create jobs for the unemployed. But not just any job. They have created a unique opportunity for people to become their own entrepreneurs. To actually feel a sense of pride and ownership in what they do.

But that’s not all! They also have many carts in underserved areas of Chicago, where access to fresh fruit is not great. They are bringing health to underserved neighborhoods at the same time as creating new jobs!

Not feeling warm and fuzzy yet? Here is a story on one of the vendors, Ted Tines, that will melt your heart.

Just like underwear in your laundry, fresh fruit is the “limiting factor” is my house. It is the thing that motivates me to get to the supermarket. Just this morning I thought with dread, “I’ve got to either load those two twins in the car and then into the stroller then quickly run through the store with a stroller in front of me and a cart behind me before they start crying just to get fruit, or try it with the older boys later this afternoon but the last time I did that Ben pushed the cart into a wall of glass olive oil….”

Now I can just pop over to the cart down the street! I kept thinking of my friend Beata, who works full time and has two kids. She can only shop once a week. The first question I asked her was, “What about fresh fruit?” Now she can pick up what she likes on the way home every night if she so pleases!

Have your husband pick up something on his way home! Grab some fresh fruit for your next stroller outing! I’m going to use this thing all the time!

And finally the price? I got 2 packages of strawberries and a cantaloupe for only $6! Much cheaper than the supermarket.

With four kids, I am always on the hunt for an original birthday party idea.

Today I attended a party so original I just had to share it with you.

It was our friend Jeremiah’s 5th birthday. He is also from a family of six, and the parents always do an incredible job at party planning.

It was a baseball themed party. They live very close to DePaul and planned the day around the woman’s softball game. If you couldn’t deduce, the stands were pretty empty so we had the run of the place for ourselves.

The stadium could not have been more welcoming. They greeted us with t-shirts and balls for all the kids.

They overlooked the fact that we brought in our own food, gave the microphone to Jeremiah’s older sister to sing ‘take me out to the ball game’ to all the fans, and the mascot practically camped out with us the entire time we were there.

Afterwards we played freeze tag and monster jail in DePaul’s quadrant. Finally we ended the afternoon with cake and free play back at their house. Gift bags were also very clever – DePaul temporary tattoos, a pack of plastic bases for playing baseball, and baseballs.

People whose names began with the letter “A” in the end were not protected.

Last night Adam came home early from work and crashed on the couch. Another victim.

I, on the other hand, was feeling better. No more fever and after not eating and getting on the scale I kind of wished this stomach bug lasted a bit longer, say about 5 pounds longer.

I didn’t realize that it wasn’t over. That having a stomach bug means that it has to come out eventually, and the way it comes out (either up or down) is never pretty.

I sat on the toilet for the better part of the time period from 10pm to 1am last night. Stopping twice to put Ben and Jack back to bed.

Jack got out of bed to go to the bathroom and after I tucked him back in a went back to the toilet, and stepped in something wet. Jack missed the toilet completely. I thought Adam might be kneeling in this very spot soon so I cleaned it up right away. (He didn’t.)

Finally I got in bed for a few hours rest before Sam decided to start crying at 3:30 in the morning and didn’t stop until I finally broke down and got him out.

Tonight is Jack’s school’s fund raiser. Surprisingly Adam feels good enough to go, better than me! I may have to stand near the bathrooms the entire night…