Last night was another sleepless night. I sent the twins to the nursery at 11pm but by 12am they were back. The nurse thought they were hungry. I latched Sam on and he ate a ton, but as soon as Aaron laid against me he stopped fussing and fell into a contented sleep. I just left them on top of me until the next feed at 2am. I slept with them leaned against me and the bed propped up. After the 2am feed I sent them to the nursery and got a good 3 hours sleep in.

Already I’m seeing how different the boys temperament is.

Sam is much more hungry, fidgety, and alert. Aaron is a bit of a snuggle bunny, softer cries, softer sucking, and slow, tai-chi like movements. Sam already uses a pacifier, which he screams for if it’s out but when it’s in he scratches at it until he pulls it out. Talk about inner conflict! He’s also got the strength of superman. Today I was using the infant feeders and forgot to unhook the lock that opens the tube to let the formula out. As a result Aaron didn’t get much but Sam was completely unaffected, sucked right through it!

The resident came by and took my stitches out today. But later my Ob/Gyn noticed it was spreading and re-taped a small section. She wants to see me in a week to make sure it’s healing properly.

Adam came and picked me up and we put the twins in the middle row. When they are clicked in, you can’t even walk to the back row. I guess when we have all four boys we’ll have to come up with a proper sequence for loading the car.

It was so nice to be home, in my own house. I’m so looking forward to sleeping in my own bed next to Adam (ha ha ha, that might happen!).

Good To Be Home

This afternoon while Adam took the boys out for dinner and I was home alone, tandem feeding, the exhilaration of the past few days coupled with exhaustion and postpartum found me weeping. I had fallen asleep on the couch, missed my meds and was aching, my breasts were totally engorged and the weight of having four kids was weighing heavily on my mind.

I do remember weeping every time I got home with each of my kids. I guess it’s just part of the process.

I didn’t stay down for long. Soon after Ben swaggered in with his cute little grin and asked what I was doing. I told him I was feeding the boys milk. He said he wanted milk. Chocolate milk. I told him the milk was from my boobies. He wanted boobies. Where are my boobies, Mom?

Sam, Wider Forehead and Side Part

It’s my third and last day at the hospital and I’m using it for all it’s worth.

Last night I didn’t get much sleep. The nursery opened at 10:30 so I fed the twins up as well as I could before passing them off. My nurse said my pain meds would arrive soon so waited around for them and next thing you know it was 11:30. I laid down to sleep, the twins were brought back at 1am for another feed. It took an hour, I was trying to tandem feed with the infant formula feeders. It’s hard enough to get them positioned on either side and latched on but add a hanging bag of formula taped to my breast with a feeder tube that has to be inserted in the mouth at the same time is impossible.

Aaron, Smaller Forehead and Widow's Peak

By 2am the were done, but back again at 4am for another feed.

Adam took Jack and Ben to Jack’s baseball game this morning. He asked if he wanted them to come by, but I decided to enjoy the peace and quiet of the hospital on my own. Plus, Jack has a birthday party this afternoon and I think it’s too much activity for them to cover in one day.

All this free time has given me an opportunity to read. I am reading a book which was recommended to me by Elissa called, “The Art of Racing in the Rain”. It’s almost foreign for me to be able to sit around and read without distraction. I miss it terribly.

In the end the boys came over for a quick dinner and snuggle with the babies. I was glad to see them. If they didn’t come, we would have missed this sweet moment…

The Double Snuggle

My milk still hasn’t come in, so I continued to use the infant feeders today. Both boys ate a ton, but now they are on completely different schedules. In the hospital during the day with nothing else to tend to, it’s nice to feed them separately, but I’m worried I’ll be up all night tonight if I can’t synchronize them.

Yesterday Cindy came to visit the boys and brought flowers and huge, chocolate cookies. I think the cookies are what’s keeping my older two boys visiting every day. They have eaten most of them and love to leave a trail of cookie crumbs for the cleaning staff all over my floor. 

A Visit from Hedy and Elissa

During a rare moment of calm, Hedy and Elissa stopped by and held the babies for a while. It was an odd feeling to sit with my mom friends and have uninterrupted conversation. I definitely don’t do it enough.

I don’t remember the hospital experience being quite so enjoyable the last two times I delivered. Perhaps the new building helps, the first delivery was at the old Prentice hospital and it seemed literally like a sinking ship. With it’s porthole windows and round shape, the shower in our room didn’t have running water. After Jack’s 30 hour delivery we were sent to a recovery area, lines of beds separated by curtains and a guy with TB next door.

This time it’s a double room for the twins, great room service, TV, comfy reclining beds. I’ve been using the nursery like a free night nurse. Send me the children when it’s time to feed, otherwise someone else watches them, changes them. I think I’m going to miss it. Still, it’s hard to be away from Adam, Jack and Ben.

Yesterday the nurse came in and told me that Sam had hypospadias. It’s when the urethra doesn’t develop properly. The hole to pee out of isn’t in the tip of the penis but on top or bottom. We were told that he could not be snipped by a mohel at a bris, as we did for our other boys. Instead he would need to wait 6 to 9 months and have a pediatric urologist circumcise him.

Today the pediatric doctor came to check him out. Turns out he is completely normal, that the nurse confused Sam with a baby down the hall. Thank goodness they tag them with numbers before they separate them from you!

Otherwise I have been attempting to breast feed the boys at the same time, but they are so floppy and confused about latching that I’ve been feeding one then immediately feeding the other, even if I have to wake him up. Sam has been leading the feeding schedule. Today he seemed more fussy than yesterday and was asking for more frequent feeds. I noticed both boys lips were dry and cracking. My milk still hasn’t come in so I decided to use the infant feeders that I used with both Jack and Ben.

Instead of using a traditional bottle, you hang a bottle of formula above you almost like an IV. Using gravity, the formula drips down a thin tube that is taped to your boob. The baby is latched onto the breast and the small tube feeds the baby formula while it breast feeds.

Afterwards Sam was much calmer. Aaron has been calm the entire time he’s been out of the womb. So far Sam has been fussier and a more aggressive feeder. Maybe it’s their personalities showing through. Or maybe Sam was just hungrier. He had a more tramatic birth experience, and perhaps that makes a boy hungrier?

I still can’t tell the boys apart. If I can’t see a difference by the time I am discharged from the hospital I will keep the hospital bracelets on.

Can you tell them apart?

Jack had his first baseball game today. I wasn’t sure how it would work out, since none of the boys could actually catch the ball or throw it with much accuracy. And they certainly didn’t understand the rules.

When we arrived the other team was lined up and practicing. They looked like stiff competition for a bunch of five year olds! I was worried that we didn’t coach Jack enough.

In the end none of it mattered. More practice didn’t equated to a better team. In fact, not being able to throw or catch worked in the both team’s favor, since that meant no one was tagged out and everyone got a home run.

Essentially, our team batted our kids and ran all the bases while the other team stood on the field. Then the other team batted all their kids and ran the bases while our team stood on the field.

It was so cute to watch, all of them so proud in their uniforms! Even knowing that Jack didn’t understand so much of it, I still couldn’t help yelling at Jack to run faster and giving the high five afterwards.

I realized today a sad but inevitable fact. I will be unable to help myself – I will be one of those crazy, screaming moms in the bleachers at all my kids games.

Angus, Jack and Grant in the Line Up

Batting with the help of Coach Mike

Jack's Loyal Fans

Good Game! (Jack is number 2)

When Ben was first born, Adam took Jack to a tumbling class at The Little Gym. It was their special bonding time, and I got some alone time with Ben. Jack loved it.

Any day now we will have another two kids. So Adam suggested another weekend gym class for Jack, Ben and himself. However, we thought now that Jack was 5, it was time to start him in a more serious class, less bubbles and parachutes and more actual gymnastics. Also, we were looking for a place that Adam could drop Jack at a class and take Ben to a class at the same time. (After 3 years of age, most classes for kids are drop off.)

So for the past 2 weekends we have started attending classes at Lakeshore Academy.

The first week, Ben loved it. I’m not sure if he did well following the instructions. I know I didn’t since there didn’t seem to be any instruction. Every time I turned around the parents were doing another activity and I blindly tried to follow along. Ben enjoyed using all the equipment, though.

Jack didn’t fair so well. The instructor, Tina, never called Jack’s name, and after 15 minutes we were forced to wander around the gym asking which class was Jack’s. Not a very welcome start. His class was composed of 5 other girls and a woman instructor. By the time we joined, they were doing floor exercises. Jack was shy and hid behind either Adam or I. Tina mostly ignored him, except when she made a token effort to give him a blue circle to sit on. Besides being fairly unwelcoming, I watched her make comments that seemed counter productive for an instructor.

She asked them to practice bridges. To a little girl named Samara who was struggling, she said accusingly, “Come on, I know you can do it. I saw you do it last week.” 

Then she left her to struggle on her own, no helpful hints or a lift up to get her started.

Instead she turned to Jack and I and said, “Boys normally can’t do this”.

How is that comment going to help Jack join the class?

In the end he barely participated. Adam talked to him about the class and the fact that there were no boys in it bothered him. He promised if there was a boy in the class next week he would participate.

Next week there was another boy in the class. Adam took him by the hand and led him to the mat where class was starting. On the way, the instructor, Tina said, “You can stay for 5 minutes but then you have to leave.”

Adam asked Tina, “Well, what do you suggest I do to get him involved?”

Tina had no ideas. But after 5 minutes where Jack clung desperately to Adam’s legs she said, “You have to leave. I will get in trouble if you stay. He’s old enough.”

Trouble with who?

After Adam got kicked out, I picked Ben up mid-class and we all left. We asked for a full refund of our $500 for the ten week session we paid for our two kids. We were told that that they normally don’t give refunds. But we were given the manager’s name since there was no manager on duty (they couldn’t supply a card because they didn’t have one at reception!) to call and ask for our money back.

Hopefully in the least we will get our money back. I’ve heard from friends that during the week there are better instructors, but after this experience we didn’t want to go back and find out.

FYI Tina teaches the 9:30am class on Sunday mornings.