After almost two years of Sam beating Aaron to all of the ‘first’ moments in life (first to walk, first to talk, first to… yada yada yada), Aaron finally was the first to the show today.

While Sam was swallowing water and begging to be held, Aaron was quietly but confidently treading water with his new water wings.

Congrats Aaron! Today you completely out shined not just Sam but ALL your brothers.

Today we left thawing Chicago for sunny California.

Traveling with four kids has been something I’ve been nervous about since our last (and first) attempt at traveling with four kids.

After a tense moment at the security line when the twins were about 6 months old, Ben was 3 and Jack was 5 I put us on a travel ban until further notice.

I won’t bore you with the details but it ended with Adam getting felt up by a stranger, me with a twin in each arm and Ben getting naked all at the same time.

Okay, the stranger was the TSA guy, but with both our our hands tied, no one could stop Ben from decided at that moment that clothing was optional.

But this trip was an opportunity that was too good to miss for thrifty Nikki.

Adam has wanted to visit his sister for years but these baby making years have kept us grounded.

This week is Jack’s spring break. Also Adam has a conference in LA, where his sister lives. Her kids also have spring break. Adam’s company can help cover some expenses and with the twins turning 2 next month we still have a small opportunity to travel without paying for 6 tickets.

So, here we are! On our way to LA.

We packed so light we surprised ourselves. Of course, tonight before blogging realized I forgot the twins jammies. Who knows what else!

One thing I’ll say about traveling with Adam is that, even with 4 small children in tow, he still does it in style.

Here is our ride to the airport…

Our kids have taken more limos in their lifetime than I had by age 30!

The plane ride went surprisingly well. The older boys can be distracted by movies, snacks, and busy books. We had to jump through a lot more hoops for the twins but let me pass on one tip my friend Margie gave me – stickers. Lots of stickers.

We had another snafu at the car rental which was eventually resolved. Then at the hotel we were told our rooms would not be adjoining.

A vacation where I sleep in a separate room than my husband? No thanks.

At one point the desk clerk told me that whoever booked our reservation did not book them adjoining. I looked her straight in the eye and said, “Are you calling my mother a liar?”

My mother is my travel agent people. And I KNOW she got us adjoining rooms.

But in the end I couldn’t complain when they sorted us out with adjoining room for every night but tonight. And for tonight they did us one better… Here are some pictures of our digs tonight…

After checking in, we headed to the mall for a quick bite at the food court. Seeing a California style food court made me remember why I love traveling so much. It’s so fun to be somewhere new and exciting! Even the food court was different! Of the 12 stalls, 6 were Asian. Now that is my kind of food court!

Bubbie and Grandpa Bill arrived in time to join us for dinner.

Afterwards we headed back to the hotel for bedtime were I sipped on my bottle of California Pinot in my hotel robe, watched Adam read to the older boys, and let myself feel very, very lucky in life.

I’m not sure how SAHMs with husbands who travel do it.

Which is weird because most people look at me with my 4 kids and wonder how I do it.

And even though Adam works long hours, he is very helpful when he is here, which is at some point every day. Even just taking the last 30 minutes of childcare away from me at the end of the day is a huge relief.

You’d think after doing it for 14 or 15 hours, what’s another 30 minutes? But feeling like you are not shouldering all the childcare yourself is very comforting.

Today I actually had a traveling husband. And it wasn’t even during the week, when you have a schedule that keeps you moving along. It was on a Sunday.

The morning started kind of rough, the twins found a box of jellybeans (yes, my house is so disorganized that random boxes of jellybeans can be found in odd places). It was one of the Bertie Bott’s Jellybean hand outs from Jack’s party. It has every flavor, including things like dirt and boogers. Those ended up regurgitated, leaving a rainbow of stains on my basement rug.

Then one of my potty trained kids pooped in his pants. Then the other one peed on the top of the toilet seat instead in the bowl.

It was 10am.

But luckily the day got better from there and I even managed to make it out of the house and to the park.

Aaron has been displaying alarmingly similar traits to Ben at every stage, including his proclivity to eat sand. Not just one bite, but to get in there and just eat and eat and eat.

I just hope these similarities don’t turn into another kid with sensory issues.

Jack is developing well, though. Look how nicely he is starting to write…

Besides suffering from a mild nag in the back of my mind that hoped nothing went terribly wrong while Adam was away that would end me up in the emergency room with four boys by myself, it actually was a good day with the boys.

And as an added bonus, Adam showed up right before lights out and I even got those last 30 minutes to myself. Ah, relief.

Sunday afternoon Jack had accepted a birthday party invitation to a family friend’s party.

Unlike most of the parties he attends at this age, which are flanked with buddies from school, this one was a girls party.  At a tumbling gym.

It was also happened to be the same tumbling gym he tried a few classes at and it went terribly wrong. He never liked going and eventually we just pulled him out.

We explained the location to him, the fact that it was a drop off party, and that it was a girl party. He still said he wanted to go. So we accepted.

But the day of the party I could see trouble was already brewing. He mentioned a few times that he didn’t want to go. I explained that if you accept an invitation, even if you don’t feel like doing it, when it finally comes around, you still have to do it. You are nothing if you aren’t good to your word.

So we went, with Ben in tow. I figured I could slip off and do a grocery shop with Ben while Jack tumbled away.

But when we arrived, Jack didn’t want to join in. I coaxed Ben into staying in the hopes it would help Jack get into the party. In hindsight, I’m not sure if this was a good idea.

During the free play Ben wanted to go everywhere but the area sectioned off for him.

When it was time to sit and start a more organized group activity I braced myself. I know from experience that any time you put Ben in a group activity, it ends badly. Already there was a teacher in front of him trying to sit his floppy body on the balance beam where everyone else was sitting nicely. Everyone except Jack, who was sulking in a corner.

After many talks with Ben to get in line with the rest of the kids, I finally pulled him out kicking and screaming. Jack sat sullen in a corner, far from the rest of the party.

I distracted Ben with a small lego table and watched Jack. He never joined in, sat where he was suppose to but when it was his turn, refused to join.

After about an hour, I pulled the kids out of the party early. Every other kid was enjoying themselves. I felt like my two kids were either hogging the instructors by misbehaving or poisoning the atmosphere with their negativity.

I was surprisingly calm in the car on the way home, considering how angry I was at the party. I explained to Jack that going and sulking in a corner was no way to attend a party. That he embarrassed himself and he ruined our friend’s party with his negative attitude.

I didn’t reprimand Ben. I felt I already got my point across when I had to pull him out early and told him then that he could not participate because he could not follow instructions. And I’m not even sure if that is his strong will or part of his sensory disorder.

But Jack really bothered me. Was I raising a spoiled brat? I contemplated how I could fix this in the car and came up with two solutions. Either he was going to do some volunteer work to see just how lucky he was, or he was going to write an apology to his friend. Either way he needed to own up to his actions.

Adam thought the note was more appropriate and a better lesson.

Surprisingly, Jack was keen to do it. I think he wanted a chance to have a voice and explain what was wrong. And it was a lesson for me. That I needed to be a bit more understanding when my kids act funny. Could I have talked Jack into the party by asking more questions and being less authoritative?

Lately I’ve been talking a lot about what I put into my kids body. The fuel that helps them grow. But having them grow is so much more than just watering them and giving them good sunlight.

It’s also what you put in their minds. Being there at those important, difficult moments in life and showing them as gently and kindly as possible the right way. How to be a mensch in every situation.

I hope we did it right this time and if so this lesson sticks, and that Adam and I nudged him a little closer to the right side of adulthood.

Sunday afternoon was the first time in SIX LONG MONTHS that we were able to take the boys outside to play.

Without winter jackets, gloves and hats, that is.

This last winter, playfully coined “Chiberia”, was the third snowiest winter since they started recording that kind of stuff.

The kids were in heaven. Everyone was running around with a huge grin on their faces. Even Jack forgot that he found playgrounds too young for him…

It’s been 7 days since we quit food dyes and I’ll bet everyone is wondering if it had the wondrous results I had read about online. Remember this list of behavioral problems from Die, Food Dye!?

1. Hyperactivity.
2. Lack of attention.
3. Sleep problems.
4. Mood swings.
5. Violence/Aggression.
6. Lack of impulse control.
7. The Ickies.
8. Bed-wetting.
9. Skin ailments.
10. Breathing problems.
11. Compulsiveness.
12. Not consistent.

I was mostly concerned with 3, 4, 5,6, 9, and 12 for Ben.

For 3 – Sleep problems, I will have to say this is the single biggest change I’ve noticed. Adam and I had a week of great sleep that I’m hoping is due to food dye and not a fluke. The twins, who often wake up crying at 5:30am slept until almost 7am every day. Even though the older boys still wake up to go potty, I did not once here Ben waking up with night terrors.

For 4 – Mood swings. Ben had a hissy fit because he said he never got his snack when I picked him up from the gym daycare. The staff assured me he did. He was wailing on the floor until I dragged him out of there kicking and screaming.

5 – Violence/Aggression. Ben was taken to the office one day for hitting a staff member at the gym.

6 – Lack of impulse control. And he didn’t manage to keep his hands to himself any more this week than another week.

9 – Skin ailments. He still has two weird red bumps on his legs that could be eczema. They haven’t faded or gotten smaller.

12. – Not consistent. Well, perhaps he had less tantrums but they didn’t stop by any stretch. All the kids still had them. I felt perhaps Sam seemed a bit more even keel this week but the twins are still at the age where they can’t express themselves or can’t always have their way and it makes them throw fits. I think that’s just normal behavior for that age. So I’m not too concerned about it.

I asked Adam if he saw any difference with Ben and he said no.

Then he told me that the toothpaste Jack and Ben use has 2 different kinds of food dyes in them. Which made me flip out. He was still getting exposed to it EVERY DAY?!

We agreed to try it one more week with new toothpaste, though I must say at this point I am not hopeful. Unfortunately I think Ben’s issues will only be solved with hard work and/or time. I doubt there are any quick fixes.