On a tip from my friend Cynthia, we booked Jack at Lego Camp, put on by Green Apple Camps.

Airplane Jack Built with Motorized Blade

Her philosophy on summer this year was to tell her kids which camps were available and let them choose which ones to sign up for. I loved how she let the kids decide how to spend their summer. I am definitely going to do this for them next year.

A week before camp was suppose to start another friend, Becky, said the reviews of that camp were horrible, “just a bunch of kids sitting around a bucket of Legos.”

I was worried.

I need not concern myself, though because Jack loved it. The first day they built an entire airport with luggage cars and planes to go with it. One day was all about cars. Another day, trains. Jack was in heaven. Whole days devoted to transportation vehicles! He’s so obsessed with means of transport that when we clean the basement he insists on picking up only things with wheels.

Jack and his friend Benny on Train Day

Definitely something I would sign Jack again for next year…

In case you were all sitting on pins and needles about my day yesterday, yes, I’m still here and unscathed. The kids are all okay. Better, even. Another afternoon on my own and I’m patting myself on the back with pride at how easy it was.

Perhaps because being with 4 kids still scares me, my radar is up all afternoon and I’m constantly trying to be proactive. Therefore the afternoon went smoothly.

Adam arrived home at 7:41pm to find 3 out of 4 kids fed, bathed, and asleep. Sam was asleep in my arms and not quite in the crib yet. I even managed to have a hot dinner ready and waiting for Adam. I am supermom.

The afternoon passed without much incident. Jack played ‘SushiCat’ and watched videos on my phone. For a brief moment he wanted to know what we were doing that afternoon. When I told him we were staying put, there was no way to take everyone out by myself, he was okay with that. Ben futzed around with his books, moving toys from room to room and occasionally sitting with Jack at the computer watching video games.

I’m still waiting for the day they can play together in earnest, but for right now I’m just happy there wasn’t a bunch of tattling and throwing toys at each other which evokes crying and tantrums. Let’s put it this way, unlike some other afternoons, my voice was not sore from yelling.

There was one incident when I thought the older boys were watching TV and eating dinner while I was bathing one of the twins. Ben ran into the room and sprinkled the salt shaker on me. I grabbed it and found it completely empty. Shaken all over the entire house. Five minutes after the cleaning lady left. I ran the vacuum, but my feet are still walking into patches of salt every so often.

Last night was another solid night for the twins. But the older boys didn’t do so well. As a result it was musical beds for Adam and I last night.

Jack woke at 10pm and Adam went to his bed to put him back to sleep. At 2am I woke to Aaron’s cries. I noticed Adam was back in our bed. I fed Aaron, changed his diaper and put him back in the crib, staying on the couch dozing until Sam woke at 3am. I had him back in the crib by 3:30 and went back in my bed to find it empty again. Then I heard Ben talking and realized Adam must now be in his bed. Sam cried out at 4:30am and I ran to his bed, but had the sense to realize he ate an hour ago. I let him fuss for a minute or two, then he fell back to sleep and I went back to the couch until 5:30am when Aaron woke and needed feeding.

Still, we went to sleep at 9:30pm so I got one REM cycle in again. So not complaining this morning! Plus I feel very happy to know I was able to handle the kids on my own again. Each time I do it I get more confidence. We can’t do much without help and I wouldn’t want it to be like this every day, but on occasion if necessary, I can handle it!

We have started a soccer class with Lil’ Kickers for Jack and Ben this summer.

It’s one of the sports that Jack is perfect for. Lots of running, not a lot of rules.

For someone that can be painfully shy, he took to the class surprisingly well. Besides his love of running, he has a competitive side that bodes well for this sort of thing.

At his level they actually scrimmage. It’s so neat to see what happens with sports after the age of 5. The classes are no longer a bunch of bubbles, parachutes and singing disguised as whatever (swimming, gymnastics, you name it). It’s real. It actually resembles the sport it’s meant to be.

Ben on the other hand is still in his own world. And it’s not the world of bubbles, parachutes and singing that his coaches are in. I feel sorry for the teacher that gets him next year! He would much prefer to pull up pieces of grass and stick them in the shoes he’s just taken off then do whatever the rest of the class is doing.

He’s lucky he’s the second kid. I now have the wisdom that this stage will pass. He will eventually follow instructions and be engaged. Unlike my first child, I suffer no embarrassment or feel personally to blame when he flops on the ground or runs wildly out of class for no apparent reason.

Rarely do we find ourselves with a full free day on the weekend. I don’t think it’s happened for months, even with the birth of the twins.

This morning we found ourselves with no kids birthday parties, no family obligations, or pressing errands to run.

What should we do with all this free time? I had a morning to putz around. I checked my emails. My friend Hedy was heading to the beach and did we want to join?

Yes we did!

Jack never bores of the beach!

Ben, covered in sand as usual

Sam enjoyed the fresh air.

Aaron had fun too!

Mark burying Roya in the Sand

Near my 8th month of pregnancy, I started to panic about sleep. So I went to Barnes and Noble to pick up a book my friend Sarah recommended to me, Baby Wise. She told me she had all three of her kids sleeping through the night before they were 20 weeks old.

I didn’t believe her. All of sudden, the memory of being tormented by crying all night long and walking around like a zombie during the day came rushing back. If I could have stopped it, I would have, right? I read EVERY book available to a new mom.

Still, I realized I would have to change my parenting style as a mother. I couldn’t possibly carry BOTH boys around all day and wake up with both of them, on demand, for close to a year. Especially if they were on different schedules. It would kill me. I had two older boys to think of too!

At Barnes and Noble the staff member who brought me the Baby Wise suggested three or four other books. “Read it, read it, read it,” I said.

Then she handed me, Bringing Up Bebe. It was getting a lot of press in the new lately. Pamela Druckerman writes about the differences between American mothers and French ones.

Apparently in France babies sleep through the night between 2 and 4 months. TWO and FOUR months! I woke every three hours for 8 months with both Jack and Ben. Impossible, I thought.

In Bringing Up Bebe, she tells how she could find no sleep training books in France. And French mothers didn’t understand what she meant when she asked about it. No one let’s their kid cry for hours at night. It took many months of observation for her to realize it came down to one simple thing, French mother’s don’t run every time their kid makes a noise at night. They pause, even from the very beginning, and give their child a chance to settle themselves.

This time around I don’t have a monitor on full blast right next to my ear, even though the babies are just one bedroom away. I don’t want to hear any noises, just full out crying.

This time if I do hear a sound, I wait to see if they settle. I did this before I read the book, as a seasoned mom, but I didn’t even realize I was doing it. I did it also because I sometimes can’t get to them right away. I did it because I was so tired I didn’t wake at every peep.

Last night Sam gave me another 8 hour stretch. It’s not a fluke. Sometimes he does it. Aaron at most has given me 6 hours. It’s not consistent, and most of the time it’s staggered so I’m still waking up with only 2 or 3 hours in between but I’ll take it!

Maybe it’s not the formula, as I originally thought. Maybe it’s me?

Jack Holding Aaron and Sam

And, as soon as they arrived, they left.

But not before we fit one very full, very fun day in.

Unfortunately this visit Bubbie wasn’t able to join us as much as she usually does. Grandpa Bill was in the hospital having surgery on his back.

We started the day at the hospital, visiting Bubbie and eating a quick lunch together.

Afterwards we headed to the Morton Arboretum. It was a hot day out so we covered all the areas for kids that included water – the tadpole pond, the stream. Then we headed over a big open field and played a bit of soccer. Then finally to the Tree House exhibit.

But the day wasn’t over yet!

As soon as we arrived home, the second babysitter arrived (you need at least 2 sitters for 6 kids!) and we headed out to the Brown Trout Restaurant. It touted “sustainable” food, the new catch phrase in fine dining. It was delicious. I highly recommend it. I heard about it from Pam, who told me kids eat free from 5-7pm. Think we’ll have to go back with them next time.

Full day, it’s almost midnight and I think I hear one of the twins crying so I’d best sign off.

Adam’s sister Joy arrived with her husband Sean and kids Roman and Sky yesterday.

Last Night's Bath

They try to visit every year and I always find it so interesting to see the interaction. Roman is 7 but since they are both boys, Jack (age 5) and he pal around together watching boy’s shows on the iPad, playing video games, pretending to shoot each other and other boy acts like talking incessantly about their butts.

Sky is also 5 and sometimes hangs out with them but also likes to float between the adults and the babies as well. She loves holding and feeding them.

Ben, as usual, is the wild card. Out doing his own thing. I hope one day he’ll fit in with the older boys. Or the younger ones.

It’s a short visit, just a couple of days, so we are packing it with all we can. Today we took the water taxi to Chinatown for Dim Sum and tomorrow we plan to visit Bubbie then hit the Morton Arboretum.

Dim Sum at Phoenix

Last Thursday Jack and Angus had their first falling out.

Before the fight, playing at Adam's Park with his new Super Soaker

I’m not sure exactly how it happened, as I find standing at a bit of a distance when the older boys play keeps everyone happier, but I entered the scene to find them calling each other names.

Ben uses his Soaker gangster style

When we left the park Jack said he never wants to play with Angus again.

I was heart wrenched to see him hurt. Even though I’m sure he had a part in what happened, you never want to see your kid hurt or upset.

But I realized it is part of growing up. It is yet another life lesson. For both of us, it turns out.

But on Thursday I thought it was just a lesson for him. So I drilled him on it.

“Yes, it hurts when your friends call you names. That’s why you never call anyone else names. The next time you think about calling Ben a ‘baby’, I hope you remember the feeling you have now and stop yourself.” I told him.

It didn’t stop him from doing mean things to Ben. But I guess that is also a two sided coin. Ben is hardly innocent. And what is the line between defending yourself and picking on someone? Can I really explain it in simple enough terms for him to understand? Do I even understand it myself?

Saturday night while Pam (Angus’ Mom) and I were out having drinks we talked about the fight. Pam said she talked to Angus about it. She said, “I hope he still wants to hang out with you after you called him names.”

Angus was sure Jack would.

Pam replied, “Well we’ll see. You should apologize to him.”

Oh, Pam is good, I thought. Motivating your kid through fear trumps my empathy plea for sure.

The next time we saw Angus was Sunday for Ben’s birthday. I was curious to see how they would greet each other. By the time I saw them they were off and running around together. Pam apparently had a talk with Angus in the morning again. When he arrived he apologized to Jack and all was better.

It warmed my heart that Pam was so sensitive to Jack’s feelings. I’m not sure I would have had the social grace to know what the best thing to do in that situation was. I feel like I might have just waited and seen what happened and hoped for the best. Not been proactive enough. If it happens in the reverse, I now know to make my son apologize!

Angus and Jack, Best Buddies Again