In the lead up to Anjelica’s last day, my first instinct was to leave the kids as much as possible and enjoy my last morsels of freedom.

Unfortunately my broken toe kept me from doing all the things I love – foot massage, pedicures, and running.

I guess it will make the transition easier if I don’t have to miss those things AND Anjelica at the same time.

Still it didn’t keep me from completely enjoying my last day with a helper. I had another appointment to check on my toe. Still broken, but getting better. I thoroughly enjoyed sitting in the waiting room with my Starbucks, reading magazines. The calmness of the waiting room was something everyone took for granted but me.

After the appointment I returned home for the dinner, bath, homework, bedtime rush.

When I was all over Anjelica and I realized we hadn’t taken a picture with her and all the kids. So we tried to get one for the records. In hindsight perhaps we should have taken one before everyone was so tired. But I think this picture is pretty fitting. Anjelica, lest you start your new job and start remembering us through rose colored glasses, here is the picture to help you remember how it actually was…

By the time we reach 40, we have made so many choices in life that this milestone year takes on many different meanings to each and every one of us.

Sadly I’ve seen some of my friend wake up and realize they don’t like the person next to them. I’ve also seen people look around and see they haven’t achieved what they had hoped for at this time.

Happily I’ve also seen people look around and realize they are exactly where they had hoped to be in life.

I consider myself one of the lucky ones. I had no idea I’d be where I am today, and I am very happy that its turned out this way.

But this year is not without some sad realizations about my life. Like my haggard body.

I’ve spend a lot of time in a boot. First my right ankle for a stress fracture, then my left for a broken toe.

Recently I started wearing this…

There is a tendon on my wrist that pops out so far there is a bump. I was telling my friend Ian about it the other day and he said there is an actual name for it, De Quervain’s Tendinitis, also known as “Mommy Thumb” or “New Mom Syndrome”.

Carrying all these kids around is taking its toll on my body.

The work is very physical at this age. At any given time I could have a fat lip from a baby banging his head against me, or a bump on my head from a flying toy. I always have random bruises I can’t explain.

Lately I’ve been scared to lay on the floor for fear the kids will overtake me.

And sadly, as I grapple with may own fragility, I have a real sense that these little incidents can easily turn into something big that will effect me for months.

Since Jack was born, he always had an obsession with wheels. Cars, monster trucks, trains fill quite a few of our toy bins.

So it makes sense that, whenever you ask him what he wants to be when he grows up, he says “Race car driver!”

Ben’s main obsession for toys are little miniatures. So when I was filling out his homework for the weekend, and one of the questions was, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” I was unsure of his reply.

Ben is always someone that answers everything with certainty, so without any hesitation, he looked me in the eye and said, “Jack.”

I’m pretty sure that goal is unachievable, probably as unachievable as Jack being a race car driver, but it made me wonder what he would be good at.

He can be very creative. And smart. And so inquisitive! I love that he is so happy all the time. But he lives in his own world and refuses to conform to society in any way. Spitting, pushing, running around naked, not getting dressed even though we are trying to take him somewhere fun, and not listening are some of the many problems we face with this small but very strong willed little guy.

It seems to me that the only thing Ben would be good for at this moment is a prisoner of war. If he was holding a secret he didn’t want to tell anyone, there is NOTHING anyone can do to get it about of him.

Same goes for trying to get Ben to do anything you want him to. Good luck with that.

So when I read the next question on the page, “I am a star because…” I knew the answer immediately.

“…no one can break my spirit.”

It was all I could do to stop myself from screaming, “HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU NOT TO STAND ON THE CHAIRS!!!” when Ben fell yesterday evening from our one of our island high chairs into a kitchen table chair he had set next to it. His chin smashed into the arm rest and as a result, three stitches…

They say bad news comes in threes.

If that’s the case, I’m very nervous right now.

Because today I was hit with two bouts of bad news.

First my father called me and informed me he is having hip surgery today.

All of a sudden I realized my father was old. Isn’t that the kind of thing that happens to old people?

“Well, your lucky, I told him. First, you didn’t slip in the shower or anything. At least you have a good story, you did it riding your bike. And second, you are basically in one of the best places in the world for the problem you have now. Boca Raton for hip surgery is like getting plastic surgery in Korea. Everyone is doing it.”

All kidding aside, it’s bad news. Replacement anything is almost never as good as the original. I just hope since my Dad is in good shape, he’ll recover well.

The second bit of bad news was that Anjelica gave me two weeks notice today.

She was always overqualified for this job. I knew in the back of my mind I was getting a bargain.

I’ll be very sad to see her go, though. We have fallen into quite a comfortable routine. And I’ll miss her conversation each day.

But it does open the door wide open. The twins are older now. Unlike when she started a year ago, we no longer feed them bottles, we no longer feed them at separate times as the older kids, and they feed themselves for the most part. They entertain themselves a lot more, are walking and need less constant carrying.

It’s made me stop and think – am I ready to take on this job alone or do I still need help?

As for the third piece of bad news, I’m hoping I can count my recent broken toe, or maybe the big bill we just got slapped with to fix out dishwasher. Somehow they seem to pale in comparison, but no one ever said they had to be equal, right?

The older boys went back to school today.

Jack starts 1st grade today.

Since it was the same set up as last year, I was pretty unemotional about it.

Summer was long and hard, but it had it’s rewards too. Th biggest one, perhaps, was watching the friendship between Jack and Ben grow.

Ben is in his last year of Pre-K. This pose is the extent to which I could get him to co-operate for the picture. I feel sorry for his teachers this year…

What did Mommy do while the older kids were at school this morning?

I sat on the couch with my feet propped up. Besides an abnormally amount of poopy diapers, the twins played nicely in the basement together.

I justified my morning ‘lounge about’ to myself. After all, I still had a broken toe. Keeping it propped up was so nice, it didn’t throb all morning. But truthfully, I probably would have lazed around all day anyway. After this summer of tending children 7 days a week, 14 hour days with frequent night wakings, I felt I deserved it.

Another year, another block party.

I could write on, but I think the pictures do it more justice…

This year they hired a spray paint tattoo artist.

Look how great the tattoos came out!

All the kids loved the Magician, “The Great Scott”.

“The Great Scott” also does balloon art.

Is there anything better on a summer day than ice cream from the ice cream truck?

Emma Jane organized her annual craft table.

Here is Neena’s Piñata.

Block party’s band.

The twins were a lot more mobile compared to last year. Unlike last year, my father was not in town to lend a helping hand. But my amazing husband managed to find a way to juggle them all afternoon…

He juggled all the kids AND still had time for conversation!

Susie, the party organizer.

Later on the kids got to push all the buttons in the cop car.

Another amazing year. Thank you Susie for organizing!