The kids have anxiously been awaiting cousin Jackie’s visit for weeks now. But in the last few days they have been asking about her a lot. Probably because we told them she was here, and staying in our basement since Wednesday. By Friday morning they still hadn’t seen her.

Seems odd that someone could sleep in our basement for 2 full days and not see our kids at all but that is because Jackie works really long hours. You see, Jackie is starting her own company. It keeps her very, VERY busy. She is completely committed to her company, www.cruzin.com, a boater to boater website rental. It’s really a very clever idea and if you are boater you will really appreciate it.

When she would arrive home late at night, Adam and I would stay up talking to her. Adam and her can relate on a business level, talking about different kinds of investor pros and cons and other business numbers and acronyms that go completely over my head. Surprisingly I found myself relating to her as well, but on a different level. When she described her complete commitment to the company, how she hasn’t taken a day of in years, I could TOTALLY relate to her. Because I’ve been doing that for about 7 years give or take a few days. Her company is her baby. Just like me, on bad days she is there just putting out fires, on good days she is trying to grow the company/baby with proactive activities.

Today she very kindly put aside her electronics and asked how she could help us out this afternoon. We wasted no time putting her to work. With four kids, when someone offers to help we are pretty much like, “yeah!”. Our standards are pretty low. Which makes the instructions minimal. “Watch that one, make sure he doesn’t harm himself or get abducted.”

With three adults we opted for the zoo. The zoo is tricky even with two parents and four kids. Because the chances of two of the four kids staying together are not good. Which means you are constantly herding instead of enjoying the sites.

We spent a lot of time at the train and carousel, in fact we hardly saw any live animals.Typical activities for our city kids, I guess. Jack has been asking to go to the Pritzker Family Children’s Zoo for ages to climb. Finally today we fulfilled the request.

See Jack in the yellow shirt and green pants?

Ben loved climbing too, but the twins were too scared. They found other things to look at, like the beaver swimming…Later we went to dinner at The Four Farthings. Jackie very nicely treated us to dinner. In return, we probably staved her off having kids forever.

Mom Tip: Bring sidewalk chalk to outdoor dining spots to keep the kids happy!

Aaron basically ate ketchup for dinner.

So did Sam.

Today I took Ben to the Chicago Public School’s free developmental screening. The councilor at the school he will be going to, the one Jack currently attends, suggested this. It is the first step in admitting Ben is not developing like a normal kid and he needs extra help or he won’t make it.

I duly drove out to one of the testing sites provided by the Office of Diverse Learner Supports and Services. I noticed none of them were conveniently located anywhere near our house. I drove about 40 minutes to this one.

On the way over I noticed how just different a mere three highway stops can be in Chicago.

Gone were the boutique shops and brand name luxury shops. I noticed there wasn’t a single woman jogging in her Lululemon pants. In fact, no one was exercising on this beautiful, sunny day. I saw a few cyclists, but none of them were wearing the padded butt pants that are common on my street. Mostly I passed auto repair, fast food, and check cashing places.

When we got to the site every evaluator was taken so we waited our turn. While I was waiting I heard the guy in front of me tell the evaluator that when his daughter was young, their mother used to put them in front of the TV and let them watch all day. He said, “We had a VCR with about 5 different movies, Home Alone, and some others, and they watched them over and over again.”

Two other kids had massive tantrums and I was pleased that Ben, for once, did not. He seemed very eager to do the test and willing to participate.

The woman who signed in after me presented the receptionist with a letter from DCFS.

After seeing the other kids I wondered if in fact I was ‘one of them’. Most days I find Ben a handful, but because I also have three other kids displaying their own weirdness, I just kind of look at him as normal but with a few more hang ups.

Well, that theory gets thrown out of the water when you watch him in a testing situation. Taking Ben to the park daily and giving him an enriched lifestyle with healthy food made me no different than anyone else in here.

Ben failed the block stacking test, he failed to draw almost all the shapes, he could not answer even the questions he KNEW the answers to without extra prompting. He couldn’t balance on one leg. And when he did answer something right, he was so proud he would continue to answer it right even though Ms Patty was asking him the next question.

In the end ALL FOUR of the areas they test for developmental delays were checked off: Cognitive/Academic Skills, Communication Skills, Motor Skills, and Social-Emotional Skills.

What does it mean?

It means that we now have the go ahead to get Ben screened for an IEP. An IEP, or Individualized Education Program, is a special document that may get him anything from an aide to getting extra time on tests. It is completely individual to the student. At the next meeting not only will they test him in more detail, but they will come up with a plan right there and then.

She warned me part of the plan may be to put him in a special school. We don’t have to do this but she put it out there which I’m grateful for. I’d hate for that to be sprung on me.

It’s hard enough admitting to myself he’s not developing like a normal kid.

School is out for the summer in a week and I’m starting to get my normal pre-summer jitters.

After Ben got booted from the gym the weather miraculously warmed up. Which saved my sanity, but also made me feel like I couldn’t futz around the house and blame it on the weather. Instead of bringing the kids to the gym every morning for socialization, arts and crafts, story time and all the other fun stuff they provided, I was now responsible for their morning fun.

A morning at the Peggy Notebaert Museum.

We’ve been visiting parks around the city and museums each morning, followed by afternoon romps at Jack’s school playground, then sometimes we even hit a third playground while Jack practices baseball or soccer.

Twins discovered a mud puddle on a cold day. I had to strip them to their diapers to put them in the car after this incident!

It’s starting to get full on. And in another week Jack gets added to the roster.

Not all bad, here was a nice surprise. A guy shows up and starts singing kids songs in the park.

Now that I’m in “Julie McCoy” mode, I’m starting to think just how much more difficult it will be with one more.

Ben pointing me to his missing clothes.

Today I was immersed in so many tears, fights and messes I didn’t think I could take anymore. Just a few highlights for you… While sunscreening the twins, Ben covered our entire stroller with sand – jackets, lunch box, everything. Another bright spot of our park visit was when I was pulling a screaming Aaron off of some stranger, another father that he had attached himself too (I had to chase him down and literally pull him off the guy as he was trying to leave the park), I turned around I saw Ben running around shoeless, sockless, and yes, pantless. I’m pretty sure Ben managed to squeeze over 30 tantrums into the day. The twins locked themselves in the bathroom together while I was cooking dinner and when I found them they had covered the entire bathroom in toothpaste.

All in a day. And it’s a typical day. But with just three kids. Soon to be four.

Lord help me.