Last night Adam and I lay in bed spooning, his hands resting on the top of my belly. The new little ones did the equivalent of a ‘Riverdance’ show for him. I actually think we may have professional tap dancers in there. He whispered in my ear, “If these next two are as great as the last two it’s going to be amazing.”

At night, while Jack and Ben slept peacefully in the room next to us and I heard these encouraging words I felt in complete control. We were under control. Two more will be a cinch. Right?

But the light of day today brought with it reality. I sat this afternoon, feet up, at my friend Lottie’s house as I watched her juggle three kids of her own. Stir the pot, what were we talking about again?, pulling out art supplies for bored kids, wiping a newly potty trained butt, whirling around the kitchen at a dizzying pace. It was a more elaborate juggling act than Ringling Brothers. It certainly didn’t have the rhythm or uniformity that is comforting when one juggles. Just the uncertainty of hoping that you’ll catch each pin in time to get the next one.

I can not fathom how another two will change our lives. I know we’ll be able to handle it, but as far as doing it with grace or any sort of pre-meditated thought?

The good news is that everything is normal this week. As far as the physical pregnancy goes, I’m getting noticeably slower, more tired and more out of breath as each day goes by, but I’m not nauseous, nor do I have any eating problems like reflux or a shrinking stomach. I take it as easy as I can, even if that means the shame of my husband coming home to find dirty dishes in the sink and yet another day where I didn’t manage to pick up the dry cleaning that I promised I would.

I just hope and pray that they stay in until the magic dates that my doctor proposed (anywhere from April 28th until May 18th). And I’m waiting for the time when my shape defies logic. People who have twins are starting to warn me about the last month. That you don’t look right. Don’t worry, if I make it there, I will be sure to post pictures for everyone to gawk at.