By the time we reach 40, we have made so many choices in life that this milestone year takes on many different meanings to each and every one of us.

Sadly I’ve seen some of my friend wake up and realize they don’t like the person next to them. I’ve also seen people look around and see they haven’t achieved what they had hoped for at this time.

Happily I’ve also seen people look around and realize they are exactly where they had hoped to be in life.

I consider myself one of the lucky ones. I had no idea I’d be where I am today, and I am very happy that its turned out this way.

But this year is not without some sad realizations about my life. Like my haggard body.

I’ve spend a lot of time in a boot. First my right ankle for a stress fracture, then my left for a broken toe.

Recently I started wearing this…

There is a tendon on my wrist that pops out so far there is a bump. I was telling my friend Ian about it the other day and he said there is an actual name for it, De Quervain’s Tendinitis, also known as “Mommy Thumb” or “New Mom Syndrome”.

Carrying all these kids around is taking its toll on my body.

The work is very physical at this age. At any given time I could have a fat lip from a baby banging his head against me, or a bump on my head from a flying toy. I always have random bruises I can’t explain.

Lately I’ve been scared to lay on the floor for fear the kids will overtake me.

And sadly, as I grapple with may own fragility, I have a real sense that these little incidents can easily turn into something big that will effect me for months.

Since Jack was born, he always had an obsession with wheels. Cars, monster trucks, trains fill quite a few of our toy bins.

So it makes sense that, whenever you ask him what he wants to be when he grows up, he says “Race car driver!”

Ben’s main obsession for toys are little miniatures. So when I was filling out his homework for the weekend, and one of the questions was, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” I was unsure of his reply.

Ben is always someone that answers everything with certainty, so without any hesitation, he looked me in the eye and said, “Jack.”

I’m pretty sure that goal is unachievable, probably as unachievable as Jack being a race car driver, but it made me wonder what he would be good at.

He can be very creative. And smart. And so inquisitive! I love that he is so happy all the time. But he lives in his own world and refuses to conform to society in any way. Spitting, pushing, running around naked, not getting dressed even though we are trying to take him somewhere fun, and not listening are some of the many problems we face with this small but very strong willed little guy.

It seems to me that the only thing Ben would be good for at this moment is a prisoner of war. If he was holding a secret he didn’t want to tell anyone, there is NOTHING anyone can do to get it about of him.

Same goes for trying to get Ben to do anything you want him to. Good luck with that.

So when I read the next question on the page, “I am a star because…” I knew the answer immediately.

“…no one can break my spirit.”

It was all I could do to stop myself from screaming, “HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU NOT TO STAND ON THE CHAIRS!!!” when Ben fell yesterday evening from our one of our island high chairs into a kitchen table chair he had set next to it. His chin smashed into the arm rest and as a result, three stitches…