Should I make them use forks?

Kids do so many things wrong sometimes it’s hard to focus on what they do right. Or hard to know which bad thing you should try to correct.

The other morning Jack pushed his naked behind in Sam’s face and asked him to “smack my butt.” So wrong on so many levels.

So was Ben’s comment later that day that he was going to “poop on my head”.

Should I break them up?

No Jack, you can not grab my boobs when we strip down for the bath and shower.

No Ben, it’s not okay to tell someone you are going to “cut them dead”. Where did you even get that anyway?

And don’t get me started on how I need to work more on stopping Ben from unrolling the entire roll of toilet paper every time he goes potty. Or how I need to get him to understand that it’s NOT OKAY to throw a hissy fit every time he doesn’t get his way.

And how Jack needs to clean up his potty mouth. For about three years now every 2nd or 3rd word is poop, booty butt, or buttcakes. He’s like the Spongebob of sailor mouths.

Then there are other things that are less obvious.

My bruiser right now is Ben, but Sam has such an iron grip I think he’s eventually going to give Ben some competition. But for now, it seems Jack is always crying for Ben to get off him, even though I know half the time he instigates it. Last month I caught Ben trying to hug Aaron by straddling him and laying his entire body on top him.

What do you have in store for me?

And Jack has started to get a manipulative edge that I’m not sure if I should leave alone or correct. On the one hand, I love it because it shows how clever he is. That he can get a toy off Ben without just grabbing it and making him cry shows a certain level of sophistication. “Ben, can I help you with that? Ben, do you want me to hold that for you?” 

The other side of me thinks I should point out to Ben that he’s just been snookered.

It makes me look at my two, innocent little twins and think, “What kind of hell are you going to put me through in the next few years?”

[The day after I wrote this Ben, doing Jack’s bidding, peed on me while I was sitting on the couch breast feeding]