Some weeks I go around feeling like super mom. I can’t believe how well I can function on relatively few hours of interrupted sleep. And still keep up some semblance of normal. I cook, I clean, I shop, I keep the laundry and garbage from overflowing.

This past week has been testing my limits, though.

I think the lead up to Halloween kept me going, my tank was empty from lack of sleep but I was burning on adrenaline fumes. Now that it’s over, I’ve noticed the social calendar keeps going but I no longer have the energy to keep up with it.

It doesn’t help that the twins haven’t slept a nap at the same time in over a week, making it impossible for me to sleep during the day. Also the past couple of nights have been worse than normal. (And our normal is pretty bad to start with.)  At one point two nights ago Jack and Ben were up from 2:30 to 4:30 in the morning. Adam covered that one, but I laid in bed next door, awake, listening to the whole thing. Until it was time to get up and feed a twin, that is.

This morning I woke up to see that both our bed and Jack’s were soaked in pee. Add another six loads to the normal two or three that I do every day. I knew I was overwhelmed when the thought of it made me want to cry.

Being this tired makes me nervous whenever someone asks me to do something social. I never want to commit because I never know how tired I’ll be feeling until that day. What if I commit to a play date then the twins sleep at the same time? It could be the one time I get a chance to nap.

Happy Birthday Laurie

Still it’s not fair for your friends to sit around waiting for your flaky butt to commit to something, so I try my best to make a decision and stick to it. I did need a little pep talk from my friend Cindy yesterday, though. I had plans to meet the girls for a birthday dinner date at Balena. By 3pm I was fading fast and I called to try to weasel my way out. Instead Cindy talked me back into it. She’s in sales. In hindsight should have called my friend Jennifer who is a doctor and has twins. She probably would have ordered me on bed rest.

In the end I was glad I went. It was a lovely evening with friends. So nice to escape the house for a bit. To be served nice wine by the glass and good food. To chat with your friends. To forget about all those chores piling up at my house.

And with a new day brings new hope, Maybe, just maybe the twins will nap a long nap together and I’ll get some sleep.

Spoiler alert: Sam woke up at 3:45am this morning and never went back to sleep. He has already slept a nap while Aaron stayed awake. Still hopeful though…

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2 thoughts on “Overwhelmed

  1. Hey Nikki! Hope you’re hanging in there! Have you guys read/tried sleep training books, especially for the older boys, or do you guys not believe in that? Just a thought from a humble non mother. 🙂 Let us know if we can help in any way. You’re welcome to ship all the boys over to our house for a little r&r if you need it 🙂

    • Thanks for the offer Morgan! I read sleep training books. Then I hee and haw over doing it until I reach my limit. Then I wait another week or month until I’m WAY PAST my limit and sleep train. Right now I’m at the stage where I complain bitterly to Adam that we need to sleep train but do nothing about it. Easier for babies. Impossible to get Ben to stop himself from waking in the middle of the night and screaming at the top of his lungs for no reason…

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