Autonomy

I’m really settling into having an extra set of hands around (Auntie Doris) on top of my other set of extra hands (Kristen).

Surprising how quickly I relinquished control over my kids considering how closely I watched the first two. Perhaps it’s because with four kids it’s impossible to give them all the attention they want. Since the goal is unattainable, what difference does an extra hour or two make each day?

The first full day Auntie Doris was here I planned my usual “shower next two the older boys while they bathe” evening ritual. When Kristen started this was a luxury. Before her I didn’t shower for days. When the older kids bathed, I watched the younger ones. When summer started and Kristen was here I showered next to the boys while she watched the babies and was happily in my jammies by 6pm. But with Auntie Doris and Kristen around I actually showered BY MYSELF. Now that is a luxury.

It didn’t last long, the second day I found myself showering with both Jack and Ben. One by one they found me and decided to jump in too. But still, autonomy was out there. A little whiff of it made me think, what else can I do?

So this morning I asked Kristen to come a little early and I went to my first yoga class in over a year.

It was a odd feeling walking out of our house by myself with no bag full of diapers, wipes, extra formula, extra clothes, water bottles, snacks. I didn’t have to make two or three trips to the car to load each baby and the stuff and other kids. I listened to adult music in the car. I didn’t take the elevator for the stroller. And I did yoga. Sort of.

Boat Pose

The first time back after a year without yoga is a humbling experience. After all that work I spent years building I was back to where I started. I was unable to touch my toes when I bent over. And forget any abdominal exercises. My abs where like jelly in boat pose. I couldn’t keep in the pose for a single second – I was more like a sinking ship!

Still, it got me thinking what else I could do. Go for a quick run? Get those thank you cards that are way overdue out? Get a pedicure? NAP?! Mmm, the possibilities are endless.

Evening Feed

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