When Adam and I first got married I felt like we joined an exclusive club. The membership was your marriage certificate. Once you obtained one, you became part of the other side. The side that went through a wedding and lived to tell of all the family drama.

Then, when we had our first child, I felt like we joined another club. The parenting club. I kept looking around at how many people were mothers and thought, “You went through this? And you too? So many people going through sleepless nights! How did they all handle it?”

Now that we have twins, we have yet another club membership. The parents of multiple clubs. I no longer look at those mothers with singletons and think, you had it hard. Instead I think of that neighbor down the street with two sets of triplets, born two years apart and think, “How did she do it?”

Night time is the worst with the twins, as I guess it is even with just one kid. Every night I go to bed in a state of shock that I will once again be up all night then somehow manage to function all day.

Last night for the last feed before bed I found myself with Sam in the Boppy, feeding him with one hand and Aaron on the breast feeding him with the other. Aaron sucks a lot of air when feeding so soon he was in need of a burp.  I’ve learned to flip him onto my shoulder and slap his back one handed while holding him so I can continue to feed Sam the bottle.

Sharing a Crib

Putting them in the crib last night was not a complete success. Every time I got one calm and sleepy, I’d have to put them down before they were ready in order to pick up the other crying one. At one point I had one kid over each shoulder. They were finally asleep, but how could I put them in the crib gently with one in each hand? It proved impossible to do. I managed to get Aaron in the crib and had to swing Sam. But by the time I did this they were half way until the next feed. I just left Sam in the swing and turned it off until he cried for me.

For some reason after the feed around 2 in the morning, neither kid would sleep so I found myself in the same juggling routine, soothing one kid then putting them down before they were ready to sooth the one that was crying louder. I did this for about two hours until they finally both fell asleep, only to wake up an hour later for the next feed.

Every night I think about Adam’s offer for a night nurse and my stanch refusal to waste that kind of money. Most nights the uncomfortable moments, moments when they are both hungry with a poop diaper and crying hysterically at the same time pass quickly and in the morning I’m pleased that I was able to once again handle it all myself.

Adam has repeatedly offered to help but I’ve also refused it as Ben wakes up most night and needs someone to put him back to bed.

I’m happy to have the blog to remember these moments. It will all be over soon and I’ll forget all about the uncomfortable pregnancy, the pain of childbirth and the exhaustion of sleepless nights. Which is how I kept getting pregnant again! So I guess this entry is kind of like bloggy birth control.