I had the most amazing dinner the other night with a friend of mine. She quit drinking. She realized, on her own, that it was leading her down a bad path and was able to catch it and correct it. We talked in length about addiction. And how much support you need to actually stop it.
It made think back to the time I quit smoking. How difficult it was, how many times I had a bad day and just wanted to start again. Or how often I used it as a crutch. Or how many times I associated things like alcohol and smoking. How painful it was to reinvent these moments without the cigarettes. It took a long time.
I will say one thing about addiction. When you get to the point where you want to quit, you look at whatever you are addicted to and hate yourself to doing it. Every time I picked up another cigarette I was kicking myself for being so weak and not being able to stop.
Alarmingly I realized I had been having that same feeling recently. It’s something I’ve been sleuthing on the internet for a long time, but didn’t think I could change. It was too hard with all the kids around and I needed a naughty reward, didn’t I?
But the naughty reward wasn’t making me feel good anymore. I was sniffing around the kitchen numerous times a day sneaking sugar. Mostly chocolate. I would do it when the kids were distracted or sleeping, or with my back turned to them. And I was hating myself for it. I would wake up in the morning with a clean eating plan in my mind and by the end of the day I had failed, again.
Bolstered by my friend’s incredible strength and perseverance with alcohol addiction, I thought, why don’t I do the same? How many days was I going to cram refined sugar down my throat, then silently berate myself and look in the mirror and my pooch and cringe?
Now, I’m not sure if giving up sugar is going to get rid of the pooch, but I am hopeful.
Today I started the 100 Days of Real Food 10 Day Pledge. The thought of 100 days is daunting but I figure I can at least give it a go for 10 days, right?
I hope I’m not accidentally doing copyright infringement here but here are the rules from the website:
Anyone want to join me?Pin It