It’s been about two weeks since we’ve pulled Ben out of school. He has become a part of the daily routine that the twins and I share.
He goes to the gym with us in the mornings. Two of the days he takes a class, which he loves. It’s taught by a woman who is majoring in special education, so she never sees Ben’s behavior as difficult, just different. The other days he stays with the other kids in the play room. It’s for a much shorter time than a school day, and there is no instruction. Just a snack and story time. He’s had his good days and bad days there, but most of the staff is absolutely incredible with him. One woman told me she didn’t believe in punishment, that’s he’s a kid and you just have to repeat yourself again and again until he understands. Another woman told me about The Tangle. It worked for another touchy kid they had at the gym. I ordered 2 the next day.
At home with the twins and I, Ben has already drastically improved his demeanor. Just today, the twins were bothering him, he walked away and came to tell me about it. Two weeks ago he would have pushed and shoved them.
We have also noticed that Jack has been a negative influence on Ben. He will do things to get him in trouble, then tell on him. Often he will touch him, then when Ben retaliates, he’ll tell on Ben. When I finally figured out it was Jack, I started to reprimand him instead of Ben. Ben in turn protects Jack every time, saying, “It’s okay, he didn’t bother me.”
Two nights ago after Sam pooped in the tub, Jack thought it would be funny for Ben to jump into the tub before I had a chance to clean it. He egged Ben on and when Ben was naked and about to step in, he ran out trying to get him in trouble. It took all my strength at that moment NOT to throw Jack in the poopy tub instead. Rather than that, I told him no more desserts or electronics until I saw him display three acts of kindness towards Ben.
When the twins nap, Ben and I hang out downstairs playing video games, watching TV or playing with toys. I have given up my precious nap time, any free time to cook dinner or fold laundry undisturbed, but it’s completely worth it. Having some one-on-one interaction goes a long way with Ben. I’ve noticed he is showing a real interest in reading and spelling, so I’ve been encouraging that.
Finally it’s time to pick up his beloved Jack. I’ve been watching them a lot closer and protecting Ben a lot more from the other family members and I think that and the extra attention is helping.
It’s early days, and I know for every step forward sometimes there are two steps back afterwards. Just this evening after an almost perfect day, he decided for no reason at all to attack a friend who was just sitting there nicely with some play pliers.
Still, I’m hopeful. Keep your fingers crossed for me.Pin It