It was with great sadness that I dropped my mother at the airport today.
When I hugged her goodbye, there were tears in my eyes.
When you have your own family, it makes you think about the family you came from a whole lot more. And I’m ashamed to write that it’s taken me this long to realize my mother and I are more similar than we are different.
Things I used to think were controlling I now realize are well intentioned ways of trying to help. I may not always agree with them, but at least now I can see they come from the heart.
The entire time she was here she spent all her time helping. Laundry, cooking, cleaning, baby sitting. At 75 she was able to juggle the twins on her own while I took the older kids out. When music from one of the toys turned on, Aaron would do a little shuffle back and forth on each leg while Sam did a tap dance, and Mom would join in, swaying her hips to “The Wheels on the Bus”. She and Sam even had their own inside jokes, like roaring at godzilla together.
She also stayed at home most night while Adam and I went for drinks, or a run, or even just a walk around the neighborhood. It was an hour or more of pure freedom and romance with my husband I will miss.
However, at the airport, in her eyes I didn’t see sadness. I saw fear.
“How long will you be by yourself before Brandy comes?” She asked anxiously.
Brandy is my niece. Her mother, my sister, has offered her up for a week’s free help. I think my sister Lara thinks it will be nice for her to spend some time with her cousins. I hope she feels that way too when she arrives. But she could just be in shock about all the poop, tantrums, and fighting she is about to be inundated with.
I think the perfect example of my Mom’s good intentions that can be misconstrued is this dress below. She actually brought it up here a few years ago thinking I would wear it to one of these fancy affairs that Adam and I sometimes attend. She saved it for 20 years for me! Then lugged it in her suitcase from Florida so I could have it! So thoughtful. It is a dress I wore to homecoming one year. I feel bad I never wore it after such an effort, but perhaps when you see it, you’ll understand why. Anyway, she took it back with her to Florida today. She plans on taking to a consignment shop in Boca to sell on. I hope she gets some cash for it. Eventually everything comes back in style, right?