Memorial Day Conclusion

Well, I made it through the day. But by the time Adam arrived home I could barely talk to him.

That night as we lay in bed, I told him why.

I was disappointed. With myself. I spent the entire day keeping the kids clean and fed. I broke up their fights. I reprimanded bad behavior. I cleaned up toys, I nagged them to clean up more toys. It was a job any babysitter could have done.

I felt bad that I couldn’t take them out some where to have a new experience. That I couldn’t get on the ground and play with all of them, or any of them for that matter. I couldn’t get them to behave better using positive reinforcement because I didn’t have time to step back and find things to positively reinforce.

All I could do was the bare minimum. And the bare minimum kept me on my feet all day long, running from problem to problem. I felt stretched as thin as I could go.

So what do you do when you feel like a bad mom?

For me it’s like any other bad habit. If you fall off the wagon don’t beat yourself up. ┬áJust get up, dust yourself off and get back on.

Today the older boys went to school. I let the laundry sit in the dryer in the morning and tickled tortured the babies instead. In the evening I sat and joked with Ben while he bathed instead of cleaning up the dishes in the kitchen. And I let Jack fix the printer ink, something he had been asking me to do but I know I could have done faster and with less anxiety. I also sat with him and discussed monster trucks, letting him make a bracelet of them on my arm instead of cleaning the toys in the basement.

And, in case I wasn’t sure I was doing a good job, I found a show called, ‘Extreme Moms’ and got a good dose of people with mom’s so inadequate they made a reality show about it.

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