I haven’t blogged in a while. I realize 4 days blog free are not a lot for most bloggers, but it seems like most days I have something I feel like writing about.
People often ask me where I find the time to write a blog, and I’m not sure how I do it. But somehow I always do, and I do it a lot, so the 4 day silence must mean that I really didn’t have any free time AT ALL. Because with 4 small, active boys, you can be pretty sure that something worth mentioning happened in the past 4 days.
Well, Adam was in New York and he overlapped Angelica’s holiday. So I spent a lot of time with the kids on my own. I was pleased to see I could do it if I needed to, but much more pleased that I don’t have to.
To recap, there were cuts, bumps, scrapes, and even a bout of pink eye. There was fights, wrestling, nagging, warning, and punishing. There was an embarrassing amount of take out and pre-packaged meals. I picked up older kids from school while lugging twins with. At Jack’s school the twins took off running in opposite directions and I was unable to cover them properly. Luckily one of Jack’s classmates, Taylor, watched Sam for me. And at the end of each day, there was the satisfaction of having worked a very full, long day followed by the dread of doing it again tomorrow.
But I’m glad to report we are all doing relatively well. And I’m ready to blog about the actual title of this post – Mother’s Day.
Adam asked me what I wanted from Mother’s Day and I sadly realized all the things I wanted to ask for were unachievable.
1. Time off without guilt. I know this time in our lives is short. The kids are not going to be this young and needy forever. But right now my hours are 5am until 7 or 8pm at night, seven days a week with frequent night wakings. This many kids really needs two people to cover them most of the time. And sometimes even that isn’t enough. Which is why, when Adam offered to watch the kids in the afternoon so I could do something, I refused. I know I find it difficult to watch all of them alone, and I certainly couldn’t relax and feel happy knowing I put someone else through that.
2. Well Behaved Kids. Need I say more about this? Wouldn’t it be great if, on mother’s day they all dressed themselves, wiped their own butts, didn’t argue, didn’t cry, didn’t make a mess? I think I heard Adam say at least 20 times today, “Remember the conversation I had with you yesterday about being a good boy for Mommy today?”
3. A job with holiday. No, not mine, that will come. I wish Adam’s job respected things like holiday, time off, and family. I’ve seen him wake up at 3am to get to work so he’ll be home by 3pm in time for Thanksgiving dinner. I’ve seen him work every holiday we’ve ever been on. On the way to the hospital to deliver Jack we stopped by his office where he handed his secretary a stack of papers. She handed him an even bigger stack back. And today I watched sadly as he struggled to play super mom, super dad and super attorney in order not to let anyone down. I remember my sister telling me about comedian Ray Romano’s argument with his wife. She used to complain about how much he worked. His reply was, “Go cry in your money bags.” So, I’m aware how awful this sounds, because I totally appreciate every single cent that he gets from that job. It affords us a very nice lifestyle. And for that I’m grateful. It’s just the no time off thing that bothers me.
4. A flat tummy. I know part of this tummy is just extra calories, but before I had kids it seemed like carrying extra pounds looked like I was generally bloated. Now extra pounds looks like I’m incubating another pup. And it would be nice if, for just one month, no one asked me if I was pregnant. You people are going to give me an eating disorder! And by disorder I mean the deserts are going to come out of order, like before I even get to the meal!!!
This is not to say that I didn’t have a great mother’s day. Jack, Ben and Adam all made or bought me great gifts…
I didn’t cook once. And being able to sit meant I could actually converse with my kids. Ben and I sat together at lunch time.
“Do you have a penis?”
“No, I don’t.”
“Do you pee out of your butt?”
“Uhm, not really.” (I don’t think I need to explain this in detail to a three year old, do I?)
“I don’t have a penis either. I’m a girl, like you.”
Well, I guess if we didn’t have so many spares, this might alarm me. But I’m pretty sure we’ve done our part to carry on the Calisoff name.
I got a pedicure during the twins second nap.
I got to spend time with my adorable kids and perfect husband.
And most importantly, I got an opportunity to stop and appreciate the endeavor of motherhood. Because after all, today is a day to honor the practice of motherhood, not just as kids, but as parents too.
So Jack, since you tried your hardest to honor me all day, I finally honored your request to stop picking Ben’s favorite colors (i.e. pink, red and purple) for my toes and answered your appeal for your favorite color instead…